more about my D/s realtionship...
8:29AM on June 27, 2008
There are a lot of aspects to the D/s relationship, although most things apply to everyone there are some that change depending on the Master/slave. As much as i can try to explain my life to you, there may be a lot of differences to my life and that of others within the D/s "lifestyle". Within all D/s relationships there are some things that must be considered. Here are three of the biggest ones i can think of...
Safety is a big focal point in "play". There should be a signal or word that is used to slow or stop "play" if it becomes to much for the slave/submissive. This should be something that is easy for you both to remember, something that will be recognized as a stopping point. You should always be open and honest with each other, establish limits, if any. Being able to communicate is the key to a D/s relationship, this helps to create a trust between the two of you. Before any "scene" or "play" takes place you should discuss what needs you both have, know what you both expect from one another, and if it becomes to much how to stop it.
Sanity, maintaining you mental health is something to look at carefully, never push yourself to hard, this is why there are limits set. Realize that there are things that take longer to accomplish, and within accomplishing them you do not have to rush yourself. Look at reality before attempting to set limits for yourself that may be to overwhelming. Never set your goal so that it will not be reached, there is no purpose for that. Emotional needs should also be looked after. All in all think about things before you do them if it is not logical then don't!
Consensual, nothing should ever be done without consent, ever. Both people must consent to any part of the relationship, there should never be any force. What type of relationship would it be if you were forced to do everything? How much pleasure would you get from that? Just because He/She may be you dominant does not mean they can force you to do anything. They are only dominant because you allow them to be, you also have a say in whether you do or do not like something, whether you can or can not fulfill a request. With good communication you should never come to a point where you have been forced into something you do not want to do. Just because you are submissive does not mean you have to lose your entire person, you are who you are and being submissive should add to that not take away from it.
These three things mean a great deal in my relationship with Master, i do have a safe word, and Master is very aware of it. Although i have one, with my communication to Master i should not have to worry about using it. By telling Master of my fears, and limits, it will set a balance to guide the path we take. My sanity is knowing who i was and who i am before entering the relationship, this will help maintain my sanity. Along with my explaining to Master how i feel about things and Him taking that into consideration. When i entered into this relationship with Master i gave my consent, He would never force me to do anything, guiding and nudging are not the force i am speaking of. Force would be something that had been agreed upon that would not be done and then having to do it anyway.
The main thing to remember is that as long as I talk to Master and keep our lines of communication open, then all should be well. This also goes for if at anytime either of us feel that the relationship is not profitable, meaning that it is not working to our benefit, we can stop it. Anything is possible with communication, but when those lines close, so does everything else. When you stop talking the relationship can not advance.
Always remember to be safe, and have fun!!!