My Blog :: Rantings & Raving of a GAY UK GUY!

GAY or G0Y??
10:34AM on July 09, 2008

I grew up living in a small rural community...I thought I was a rare breed until I ran across some young guy on a dating website who described himself as a "g0y". I went about attempting to help him correct his typographical error when he corrected my perceptual error.

What are you when you're too straight for the gay circles and still fancy guys – but not into arse fucking? Up until meeting my first "g0y", I just thought I must be doing a poor job of letting my personal tastes get in the way of being a "good queer".

Funny thing is, everyone assumed I was straight – some still do and it doesn't bother me. The best g0ys always seem so straight you assume they sweat testosterone with their sex appeal mixed into it. Of course, I knew this instinctively long before I knew what the differences between "gay" & "g0y" were. The best part of knowing the difference is being able to classify men so I can weed out the "arse-fuck" clique and hook up with a decent bloke that I can have as a good friend no matter where the sex might go.

Don't get me wrong … I'm not looking for any "one-nighters", which is why I mainly stick to g0ys. However, when you haven't liberated your nuts in a week or so, it's a good feeling to hook up with a guy who you can becum your soulmate through your dick - Knowing the guy is going to respect you the next day and simply make friends without any of the head games of "who belongs to who" that insecure pansies play.
What I'm looking for is what I think most people seek: A soulmate. It doesn't mean I can't make some good friends in the meantime -- most would agree that slow rubbing on a bloke until he gasps/groans and shoots man-sauce all over his tum is probably a pretty friendly way to say "G'day"!

Anymore "g0ys" out there? If so, please get in touch.

LAST NIGHT
9:34PM on February 28, 2008

I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline.



I got a call centre in Pakistan ..I told them I was suicidal.
They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.....

TODAY'S HUMOUR
1:08AM on February 28, 2008

The president is getting his daily briefing. The aide giving the briefing concludes with: “Yesterday, three Brazilian soldiers were killed.” “OH NO!” the President exclaims. “That’s terrible!”
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, “How many is a brazillion?”


An 85-year-old man went to visit his doctor to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.”
The next day the 85-year-old man appeared at the doctor’s surgery and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained:
“Well, doc, it’s like this - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing.
We even called up Hilda, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still nothing.”
The doctor was shocked! “You asked your neighbour?”
The old man replied, “Yep. None of us could get the jar open"

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I NEED A MAN!
12:48AM on February 26, 2008

We have all been in the position of needing a man. We've tried the bars. We've tried the internet hookup sites. We've even let our friends hook us up with a guy. All hoping that the next one would be the man of our dreams. I've decided to make life a little easier for you. Why not join an online dating site that you can join for FREE to find the man of your dreams. I've tried it myself and it works.

Here are a few tips to make the site work for you.

1. Be honest with yourself and others about what you are looking for. In other words, don't try to get guys that are looking for a relationship to meet for a one night stand.

2. Post a picture for gods sake. If someone is going to contact you they are going to want to know what you look like. Profiles with a picture get as many as 10 times more responses.

3. If the personals site that you are joining offers a 'premium' package buy it! You can often get a premium package at only 5 dollars or so for a trial. Contact as many people as you can and then cancel. It doesn't have to be expensive to meet someone.

4. Give all guys a chance. Just because they have a bad photo doesn't mean they look like that in person. Some of the greatest guys I have met have NO photo at all.

I am also a whore for many things! A whore for toys is one of those many things!! I've bought from many sites online. I have had alot of good experiences and a lot of bad ones. I can assure you that you'll only have GOOD EXPERIENCES if you buy from a "RUDE STORE!"...so why not check it out.
www.rude.com/antonyuk


It's nearly 6.00 o'clock in the morning (UK time) as I write this blog and I really do need to get some sleep..see you guys later.. In the meantime, here's a short vid for you to watch..Bye.

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UM... HEY. How's it going?
9:54AM on February 24, 2008

Look, I'll be honest. I got up around noon today. I showered at two. I've watched something like nine hours of TV today, and spent precious little time being non-horizontal. I didn't shave, haven't left the house, and I honestly can't remember whether I brushed my teeth today or not.
Anyway, how about if we just call this a 'recovery day', and hook up again tomorrow, eh? Seriously, there's nothing about my day today that you'd want to read about and I'm not sure I could write about it without shooting myself in the temple to end the boredom....so here's a little humour!!

One unfortunate day, Bill Clinton and the Pope both died, Clinton was condemned to Hell and Pope was going to be sent to Heaven. But this all got muddled up and they were sent to the wrong places. So, an angel was sent down to Hell to get the Pope and a devil was sent up to get Clinton, as they were being led towards their destination, they met in the middle. “I’m really looking forward to meeting the Virgin Mary,” the Pope said. “Ermm, you’re 5 minutes too late,” replied Clinton.

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BEARS WEBSITE!
11:43AM on February 17, 2008

Based on the flimsiest of premisses, the cartoon bears on the Charmin bog roll adverts have been defecating in the woods for quite sometime now. Presumably at the same brain-storming meeting, when advertising agency came up with this campaign they also pitched a similar one as part of the Vatican City account, where a cartoon Pope on tasting his new buttery-like spread, exclaims "I can’t believe it’s not Cum".
Of course leaving aside, for one moment, the concept of bears getting enough money together to purchase quilted bathroom tissue in the first place, why do all these adverts concentrate on the absorption quality of their product? "Look, it can absorb all that blue dye!!"At last, an end to leaky blue dye misery!  I'm not sure about anyone else but if I had to utilise toilet paper to "soak up" that much liquid on a regular basis I'd be seeking medical assistance before purchasing more quilted bog roll. Why can't they stick to something much more reasonable, like having a puppy to front their ads or use the catch phrase "Luv Your Bum! "Personally, I'd prefer to love somebody elses!!


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HOMOPHOBIA & COMING OUT
4:48AM on February 15, 2008

As is the case with racism, numerous and complex factors contribute to homophobia. As with racism, homophobia is based on prejudice towards those who are different. The primary source of homophobia in most Western nations seems to be the Judaeo-Christian religious tradition of opposition to homosexuality, justified by certain passages in scripture. From its roots in religion, over the years, homophobia has institutionalized itself in the law.
Because of the pervasiveness of homophobia in our culture, we are exposed from a very early age to a constant stream of messages that denigrate homosexuality and homosexuals. For example, faggot or queer is one of the most common names used by boys in school to denigrate a classmate. For some people these negative messages become internalized as truths about "the way things really are."
The single most important step in liberating oneself from internalized homophobia is recognizing that the source of the bad feelings is external "programming" written by a society which in general is very negatively disposed towards homosexuality as the result of religious predjudice.
I experienced this myself from my family. Remember, homosexuality is generally felt to have a strong genetic component - it is not a deviance or an illness, any more than being left-handed or blue-eyed are. Another vital step in escaping the grip of internalized homophobia is to "come out" (i.e. reveal one’s sexual orientation) to a trusted friend or relative.
"Coming out" can be an extremely complex emotional process. Going through it alone can be very, very hard. It can make a difference to have the support of someone who has a good understanding of the many emotional aspects and can offer useful insight into your particular situation. If you feel that you have nobody you can trust and need somebody to help you; I am always here. Please drop me a line  and head your RUDE MESSAGE "coming out". I can't guarantee to solve your problems, but I am more than willing to listen and offer a helping hand. Remember, you are not alone - many of us have been there!

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...SOON TO BE A MILLIONARE!
2:03AM on February 13, 2008

A couple years ago I used to sift through my email and delete the spam. Now it seems I'm sifting through spam to read my e-mail. I can only assume that the rise in spam mail is due to the fact that spam actually works! People must purchase the products that companies spam about and the money is then spent on more spam. But I can't imagine somebody so gullible that spam email genuinely tricks them!
"Oh. My...God. The Vice President of Ghana!?!? E-mailing ME!?!? Holy shit, he says it's a secret, I'd better stop yelling. My word, I can receive 51 million american dollars if I just loan him the initial 200,000? This is the break I've been waiting for. Things have been super sad around here since Christmas - Yeah, no need to work anymore!"
....God, here's another...
"A Rolex for 19.99? Don't mind if I do! This would go really well with that suit I just bought for only one pound". Gosh, what am I going to spend my 51 million american dollars on, if these bargain emails keep arriving in my mailbox? I know, I'll spend the cash buying more gay porno movies!! I must contact the bank and see if they'll loan me $200,000 to send to my friend in Ghana!...but first here's a couple of horny horny pics for you"







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...MR GAY!!
10:50PM on February 11, 2008

...NOTHING SERIOUS
9:24PM on February 11, 2008

I don't feel in a serious mood today, so here's something to tide you over (or keep you coming back, assuming you're not from Outer Mongolia) until my next blog update.....just a little humour.

An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond compare. With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman.

Shortly there after he met a farmer who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. He explained his mission to the farmer, asking for permission to marry one of them.

The farmer simply replied, "They're lookin' to get married, so you came to the right place. Look 'em over and pick the one you want."

The man dated the first daughter. The next day the farmer asked for the man's opinion.

"Well," said the man, "she's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice...pigeon-toed."

The farmer nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls. So the man went out with the second daughter.

The next day, the farmer again asked how things went.

"Well," the man replied, "she's just a weeeee bit, not that you can hardly tell...cross-eyed."

The farmer nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might be better. So he did.

The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming, "She's perfect, just perfect. She's the one I want to marry."

So they were wed right away. Months later the baby was born. When the man visited the nursery he was horrified: the baby was the ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine. He rushed to his father-in-law asking how such a thing could happen considering the beauty of the parents.

"Well," explained the farmer. "She was just a weeeee bit, not that you could hardly tell...pregnant when you met her!"

TONY.

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...AS VALENTINE'S DAY APPROACHES
9:08PM on February 11, 2008

Now, I could just be bitter because I am not likely to be getting any cards unless the cat sends me one - but why do we celebrate Valentines day?
Being brought up in a reglious family I know the 'official' view of the day - but do we really need a day to tell our loved ones we love them? Shouldn't we be doing this every day of the year?
Am I missing something? Why am I bombarded with cards and stupid devil cuddly toys every time I enter a supermarket? Tell me PLEASE!!!
Well....Moan over! (I guess YOU could send me an e-valentines card:-)

See you tomorrow!

TONY

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TODAY'S NEWS-Cell phone flasher fined!
2:08AM on February 11, 2008

A 21-year-old German man exposed himself to unknown women by sending them pictures of his penis. At least one woman came forward to complain about the offensive picture, and authorities believe he may have subjected other woman to the horror that is his cock. He was convicted on Wednesday of distributing pornographic material and fined €150 ($215, £112).
The presiding judged admitted, "We all had a bit of a laugh when we saw the thing!" I doubt that was the reaction the young flasher was hoping for!!

Tony

Note: Do you have any amusing stories or pics? If so, please send them as a  comment to my blog..thanks

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