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LOVE
5:53PM on December 18, 2008
If you are vampire, like myself (all us late night/early morning pervs) and love a good chuckle, the place to be is DenaliTrunks' group show. It is here that we come together to hash out the days events and chatter about some of life's hott topics. Last night's topic intrigued me. We started talking about LOVE.
He asked his guests our definitions of the word. With so many views, it is proven to be a very relative thing. Your personal definition is based upon your upbringing, neighborhood, family and all those personal experiences that are the total of who you are. There are descriptive terms to help one get an idea of its meaning, in a broader sense. I hope someone finds this helpful....
There are 3 categories of "love". Most perceptions hold the qualities of at least 1 of the following descriptions.
The first is Eros. Eros is an "erotic love". It usually has romantic implications. This is the easiest to confuse with lust. Eros is electric, magnetic and can be intense. It can evoke a passion that can get you caught up with a person that will bust your windows out if you do them wrong (smdh....) or take you on a path of bliss. Eros is often short lived because it is mostly based upon something physical and selfish. Almost like, "I love you because you make me feel so good." So what happens when you become more aware of everything this person is...you grow less happy. Then *poof!*, not "in love" anymore. Eros usually fails when being tested by hardship. In other words, it can't weather the storm. lol Now if you can combine Eros with the other forms of "love", you might have a shot at a decent relationship.
The next form of "love" is Philos. Philos is based upon friendship. Philos is more solid, in as, it is about more than chemistry. It's about knowing and understanding the other party. Respecting your similarities and differences. There is room for give and take here. Philos holds the beginning of awareness of responsibility for another life. Its no longer about your personal benefit, alone. You move into thinking, "How can we mutually benefit one another?" This phase allows for true care and concern.
The most potent form of "love", in my opinion is Agape love. This is unconditional love. Now, you are beyond the initial attraction and chemistry. You have grown to know, understand and respect this other individual outside your own selfishness. You are now making a decision. Will I allow myself to stick by this person, with all I know and fear? Am I willing to put my own bullshit aside to have someone accept me, the way I do them? Can I be the bigger person for the betterment of the one I care for.
As I have matured, I have come to understand the importance and place of the three. Both independent and unified. If you find yourself running the same "love" circle, I hope this is helpful in knowing where you stand in every relationship.
With LOVE,
TQ
P.S. I am in anticipation of reading your remarks and view points. Therefore, stars and comments are always appreciated.
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| Comments |
Calif... |
May 16, 2011 (Report It)
This remains a wonderfully written examination of the topic. TaQuilla remains my muse - and my favorite star in Rude's constellation. |
Simpl... |
October 02, 2009 (Report It)
I studies psychology and my minor (almost second degree) in college and the study of LOVE and human emotion was one of my favorite sections. I am very familiar with these definition and think that all these types of love are needed in everyone's life. I currently am in 2 categories, Agape and Philos. I have amazing friends in my life that I consider my family and my love life. We take care of each other and though we don't always agree on everything, we love each other through the good and the bad. When it comes to Eros, I think this is a necessity in a romantic relationship along with the other 2. You need to have a base foundation of friendship (whether established first or created as time goes by) because i feel that helps you see your common grounds when you hit hard times. Agape to me is clearly a must when true love is involved. One needs to know that no matter what, their partner loves them and will support them and in that love they will do the same. But Eros keeps the passion alive and without the passion there is nothing. Maybe I find it important because I am the kind of person that get's passionate about those I care about but I can't see life with Eros Love...All three put together fuel real emotion of the words I LOVE YOU...
PS. I hope this made sense to someone else besides me... |
usgrant1 |
December 20, 2008 (Report It)
A very interesting and insightful topic. I have a friend, female, we are very close. We are both married and love our spouses, and I would never do anything to hurt her or cause her any problems or pain. I miss her when I don't see, which in the summer is for three months at a time. I play by her rules, but at the same time, it is very tough. At least two of the loves seem to be where we are in our friendship. I am happy where we are, but at the same time it is fustrating. Above all I can never forget she is my friend. Thanks for the great blog and all you do and have done. I remain a great admirer. |
Queen... |
December 19, 2008 (Report It)
Ironically, "love" is not something that I ponder often nor do I define by greco-roman philosophy and terms. For me, the first and truest love is for my Deity and all else and all others are a reflection of this sentiment... |
cowbo... |
December 19, 2008 (Report It)
I seem to fall into two catagories of Love. Unconditional and Romantic Love. I see my friends as being in the unconditional faction. I Love each and every one with an undieing Love that will last until the end of our days. My romantic interests fall in the romantic love faction. I enjoy spending time with them and hold a special place in my heart for them. They eventually fall into the unconditional faction after we have known each other for a long time. I can also place a few into a catagory I call emotional love. They are the ones that just spark my interest for a short period of time. Those are the people that use me for their own advantage and cast me aside when they are done or have what they want from me. |
d_naz_d1 |
December 18, 2008 (Report It)
Sweet T once again you have hit the nail on the head...i have gone thru all three of these phases and it i just as you say it is....T you have nack for hitting everything just right. keep up the good work. |
Calif... |
December 18, 2008 (Report It)
As usual, my TaQuilla, you are on point. I define love a little differently but it's more form than function. We are in general agreement. I see two types of love: romantic - also called passionate love or limerence (eros) and companionate (a combination of philos and agape). Romantic love is short-lived typically as it is driven by fantasy and mystery; its shelf-life is about six months, fading away rapidly after that. It is often called the honeymoon phase. It is "any intense attraction that involves the idealization of the other, within an erotic context, with the expectation of enduring for some time in the future" (Jankowiak). People fall into limerence with others based not on what they are but on what they want them to be. These illusions survive and maintain the "love" as long as they are not tested against reality. Most internet romances are of this type and explains why they can have such a tug on our emotions. Different significantly from romantic love is companionate love. "Companionate love is based on admiration and respect, combined with deep feelings of caring for the person and commitment to the relationship" (Huffman). Companionate love seems to grow stronger over time and can last a lifetime. It is what we feel for our best friends and can be the basis for a lasting marriage. It allows you to overlook each other's faults and, to answer DenaliTrunks, lets you maintain a loving relationship with someone who is now bedridden, disfigured or unable to perform sexually. Neither of these is lust, which is what I believe drives many of the Rude pervs at their most base level. That some on Rude seek loving relationships is certain. The question becomes: Is Rude an ideal place for such shopping? I was taught by the Black Panther Party that love was comprised of care, concern, respect, responsibility and altruism (Huey stipulated it as pentagonal love). That is the functional definition for companionate love. How do you really feel about those people to whom you exclaim "I love you"? |
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