My Blog :: Thanks to all of you who have visited my page, watched my video clips, purchased my videos, custom vids, tipped my livehouse Just left me lovely comments, voted, helped with my shows !!! All that great stuff !!! If you love my ass as much as I do, lol, stay tuned, there's more to love !!! I'm always looking for hotness to help with my videos, so, by all means, cum & talk 2 me... I usually have either jokes or some serious questions... hopefully something to make you smile & think... don't forget to vote & comment !!! Smooches, Nilou Achtland

A Boy & A Girl
8:13AM on April 22, 2013

Boy: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, its too long." Girl: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Never mind, you won't get it."

Condom Talking To A Penis
6:43AM on April 22, 2013

Q: What did the penis say to the condom? A: Cover me im going in!

Good Pussy
11:13AM on June 13, 2012

The vagina is a muscular tube that conforms to whatever is inside it. When there's nothing inside the vagina, its walls touch each other, so it is closed in on itself. Your vagina may remain in its aroused state immediately after sex, but it will return to its tight state shortly. Having sex doesn't decrease the muscle tone of your vagina. Sex should increase the muscle tone of your vagina since this is a form of exercise. You can have sexual intercourse every day for a year and it still wouldn't change a thing. Similarly, abstaining from sex for a long time doesn't make your vagina tighter. The only thing that makes your vagina tighter is your state of arousal. 

Who's A Better Kisser
9:50AM on June 13, 2012

I love kissing boys! I'm a crazy girl. Because actually, I'm a girl who likes kissing girls too...lol  !!! .  A romantic kiss shared with someone special in my life is always nice.  I love it when it's really intimate and playful.  Deep, passionate kissing with lots of tongue and groping...oh, and don't forget to pull my hair a bit.

Titty Milk Fans : Need More Milk
7:56AM on June 13, 2012

Ladies are you struggling with low milk-supply issues?



You probably know that certain foods and herbs can increase milk supply, but did you know that some foods can actually decrease milk production?

There is no need to worry about small amounts of any of the following foods, but if youre struggling with low milk supply, avoid ingesting these foods in large quantities.

Parsley Nibbling on a sprig of parsley after a meal tastes refreshing and will not harm your milk supply, but avoid dishes with large amounts of parsley (such as tabouleh).

Peppermint and Spearmint - Drinking an occasional cup of peppermint tea should not be a problem, but avoid candies made from peppermint oil (such as Altoids). Mothers who enjoy many of these candies each day have noticed a drop in milk production.

Sage and Oregano Sage tea is a common remedy for over-production.

Cabbage leaves - Cabbage leaves (topically applied) can work wonders to relieve breast engorgement, but dont over-do it!  Applying cabbage more than once or twice a day can decrease your milk supply. Topical creams made from cabbage extract can have the same effect.

Beer and other aLqalcoholic beverages - These beverages are often touted as milk-supply boosters. It is absolutely false! In fact, alcohol inhibits your milk ejection (let down) reflex. This makes it harder for your man or girlfriend to get your milk. Over time, alcohol can decrease your milk supply. Is an occasional drink OK? Yesjust be sure to have that drink after you have let your man or girlfriend suck on your sexy tatas !

Make Us Cum Back 2 Back
9:56PM on June 11, 2012

Most guys know more about whats under the hood of a car than they do about what's under the hood of a clitoris. Were woefully ill-cliterate, which is a shame when you consider that the clitoris -- with more than 18 parts, twice as many nerve endings as the penis, and the enviable ability to produce multiple orgasms -- is the indisputable powerhouse of the female orgasm.

Fortunately, when pleasuring a woman, there are multiple methods for multiple orgasms, so in the spirit of resourcefulness, read the rest of my logs to find out how....

Love ya !!!

Fuck That : Don't Hide Your Stash
10:53AM on June 09, 2012

Regularly getting caught watching porn or flicking through smutty magazines will inevitably lead to a barrage of mind-numbing questions. But if you want your wife or girlfriend to enhance her performance, you have to take the rough with the smooth. Shell immediately question why you feel it's necessary to get your rocks on by watching other women go at it. What do those trashy whores have that I dont? shell wonder after catching you ogling a buxom brunette named Nilou Achtland and her erotic blond friend, Duny Cozy, working their way through the Kama Sutra.

At this point, shell be vulnerable, easy to manipulate and more susceptible to your lies. Tell her you were watching porn to spice up your sex life and coerce her into sitting through at least one DVD. Then delicately suggest she applies what she learned to your next sexual dalliance. Repeat until she either improves or uncovers your sordid plan.

Too Much Booty In The Pants
10:01AM on June 09, 2012

Sometimes you just have to be cruel to be kind, and getting her to sexually gratify you is one of those moments. Buying clothes that are a size too small for her is a particularly effective way to deliver your message. After shes finished moaning, a casual comment along the lines of oh, I thought you were a size X will have her convinced shes piling on the pounds. If all goes to plan, she'll put more effort into her fitness regime and sexual exploits to burn off those extra calories.

Sorry Ass Lay
9:56AM on June 09, 2012

When you first hooked up, one look from your girlfriend was all it took for your engine to rev up quicker than a pimped-out ride from The Fast and the Furious. You were, to put it bluntly, like a dog in heat, but those first throes of passion are long gone, and your girl has since lost her almost God-given power to make you happy between the sheets.

She may have seduced you with her looks and charm, but if you're dealing with bad sex a month after that first night of intimacy, then she might as well look like Broom-hilda. Not that you would tell her that. Unless you possess a heart of stone like Rasputin, youd feel pretty bad watching your girlfriend suffer a Bridget Jones-style breakdown after telling her shes failing miserably in the bedroom.

But make enough excuses to avoid a close encounter or drop enough hints about what she should be doing, and your girlfriend will eventually catch on. Heres what to do to stop bad sex from ruining your relationship.

Since the dawn of time, women have used phony ailments such as headaches and upset stomachs to get out of having sex. But two can play at that game. If the stars have aligned and the moon is in the right place, she might be feeling amorous and up for a night of passion. You, alternatively, would rather sleep, watch sports or do almost anything instead of enduring another night of passionless sex. Its not you; its her.

Yawning at least once every few minutes should do the trick. If that isnt enough to ward off her advances, then make regular trips to the toilet and proceed to groan loudly enough for your girlfriend to hear. She'll soon be colder than a streaker in the midst of a Canadian winter.

We've already established that you can't just tell her how bad she is in the sack. But a little scheming can go a long way. Ask her if there's anything in particular she'd like you to do when getting intimate. Not only does it make your girlfriend feel special, but it also gives you an excuse to tell her exactly what you want. Women love to talk, so use this to your advantage.

The Blow Drive
9:33AM on June 09, 2012

While driving
Your girl can easily get your appendage in her mouth while you drive -- slowly and carefully, for both of you. Avoid bumps or potholes and keep your eye on the road at all times, and if you feel like you are losing it, pull over immediately. A blow job is not worth damaging your car or losing the use of your legs or worse, your girlfriend's or someone elses life.

Safety

Navigating The Bedroom #1
6:13AM on June 07, 2012

Sensual touch is one of the most highly relaxing and sexy things you can do for your partner, which is why it makes it onto my Navigating The Bedroom  tips for better sex list. Our bodies are almost without exception tense in some area, if not many areas. This hinders our energy flow -- including sexual energy flow. Imagine a car that has a clogged fuel filter: the fuel (our energy) cant get to where it needs to go quickly and smoothly, and the car performs inefficiently and ineffectively.

A relaxing sensual massage can unlock her body to some very intense orgasms and much better sex in the end. The ability to relax your partner in this way should be high on your list of skills to master. The same goes for her: The difference between a deeply relaxing massage and a sensual massage is in the manner of touch -- you dont want to relax her too deeply because she will probably fall straight to sleep.

Navigating The Bedroom #2
7:27PM on June 06, 2012

Give her instructions
After a while you may think you know how to please your partner in every way, but this is very rarely true. There is always something you havent tried, and there is bound to be something one of you always does that could be done differently.

To combat this for better sex, have a lesson session in which you dont think you know it all, and are at each other's mercy as teacher. Talk about things you havent tried, but would like to, then choose one suggestion from each partner, and get down and dirty. We often get caught thinking we know what our partners like, and after a while it becomes "the way its done." Lose this myth and put yourself in the student's chair for a while for better sex you won't regret.

Navigating The Bedroom #3
1:32PM on June 06, 2012

A good sex life takes time and effort to maintain. It wont always be easy -- our busy lives are taxing and often leave us tired and devoid of the imagination and motivation required to keep up the pace. Having good sex doesnt necessarily mean spending hours and hours of frolicking, it can be as simple as doing something a little different just for a change.

Women are cyclic creatures, and her sex drive will vary depending on her hormones and whats going on in her life. Sometimes it takes a bit longer to get her hot and the same-old song and dance may not be enough. This applies to you too.

Therefore, it's important to add a few more stimulating aspects to your sex life to keep things interesting.

How To Sleep With Him and Look Attractive At The Same Time
8:49PM on May 30, 2012

Now keeping those key points in mind, you have to understand that your beauty do is what makes you look the worst when you wake up.

So go easy on your makeup kit when youre going to hit the sack. Your man will still love you even if you dont look like a porn star every night. And if you do want to look like a stunning porn star every night, make it a point to wash yourself up clean. Nothing looks prettier than a perfectly clean face in the morning when you sleep with him.

If you feel uncomfortable about sleeping with your face in the nude, like most women do, use a few basic necessities that will make you look, feel and smell good. Just as long as your beauty necessities arent filled with heavy duty moisturizers and oil based liquids, youd look great when you wake up with him.

Even if you love looking like a hooker while youre on top of him at night, you have to realize that your face isnt going to look that hot once your head hits the pillow.

And theres also the fact that youre going to have bits of drool sliding down your face. Ewww!

Now imagine that drools effect on your layer of foundation! Gross

Hump'n Like Rabbits
7:42PM on May 30, 2012

Ive always heard men hit their sexual peak, that is they have the greatest sex, around 18 and women peak anywhere from 30-40 years old, which conveniently explains the following: horny teenage dudes, why your 20-something girlfriend has another headache, cougars, bob cats, cubs, MILFs and so forth etc etc etc you get it. BUT! HOWEVER!! ALTHOUGH!!! NEVERTHELESS!!!! A NEW study is showering us with different information that is totally worth writing about duders surveyed in this survey seem to be having their best sex at the (average) age of 33, while women at 28.

This makes some sense guys may be hornier at 18 but by 33 they have a better idea how to work a pussy and how to better trickerbetter woo those vaginas onto their dicks. And at 28 chicks hormones are pumping and theyre all confident and hot and again they have time to find partners who can work a clitoris.

Can We Have Sex Please ?
7:31PM on May 30, 2012

I talk to so many guys that tell me that their wives just dont like sex anymore after having children. They tell me stories of how their wives used to be much more sexual and that now they just dont care anymore or that they themselves are too addicted to sex and its ruining their relationships. If you wake up one morning and realize that the person next to you isnt who you married or fell in love with, then theres probably a good reason for it. Many woman suffer from post-partum depression. In my opinion, way more than are actually diagnosed.

So, this is my advice to couples out there with children. Be there for each other and stop blaming one another. Start looking at yourself and see what you can do to change. Guys, pay attention if your wife has changed and help her to see that there are ways to make your lives more meaningful and happy. Girls, start taking responsibility for yourselves and maybe take a good look in the mirror to see if you may be the one who has changed. Learn to grow and change together, rather than just give up. Its not easy, but damn well worth it. Good luck and remember there are always others out there just like you, and be willing to work hard to make the most of your life.