My Blog :: Thanks to all of you who have visited my page, watched my video clips, purchased my videos, custom vids, tipped my livehouse Just left me lovely comments, voted, helped with my shows !!! All that great stuff !!! If you love my ass as much as I do, lol, stay tuned, there's more to love !!! I'm always looking for hotness to help with my videos, so, by all means, cum & talk 2 me... I usually have either jokes or some serious questions... hopefully something to make you smile & think... don't forget to vote & comment !!! Smooches, Nilou Achtland

Dirty Pickup lines #4
9:50AM on April 06, 2013

Hey, how about you sit on my face and let me eat my way to you heart?

See more @ http://rude.com/pg/T5Hj8kjdCKT/gallery/cute-photos-4-my-rude-fans-by-nilouachtland

Dirty Pickup lines #3
9:45AM on April 06, 2013

Hi, I'm a birdwatcher and I'm looking for a Big-Breasted Bed thrasher, Do you know where i can find one?

See more @ http://rude.com/pg/rAX79KntLlz/gallery/sexiness-4-u-2-admire-by-nilouachtland

Dirty Pickup lines #2
9:41AM on April 06, 2013

If I flip a coin, what are the chances of me getting head?

see more @ http://rude.com/pg/rAX79KntLlz/gallery/sexiness-4-u-2-admire-by-nilouachtland

Dirty pickup lines #1
9:39AM on April 06, 2013


Do you come here often? Because I'm about to come here right now.

http://rude.com/pg/rAX79KntLlz/gallery/sexiness-4-u-2-admire-by-nilouachtland/

She's Soaking Wet !
11:48AM on January 25, 2013

Some women need to treat their body more like a bathroom an less like a temple .... That doesn't make a whore , that makes her hot girl that everyone wants !!! Mmmmm.....licks & kisses with cum everywhere !!!

Damn , Big Titty Women !
11:42AM on January 25, 2013

Big boobs don't make a woman stupid. They make men stupid.

Mmmm... Look At That Ass !
11:36AM on January 25, 2013

Behind every great woman, there is a guy looking at her ass.

Who's Rght ?
11:22AM on January 25, 2013

A woman is always right, especially when you want her to give you some pussy & ass at night !

What An Ass !
11:17AM on January 25, 2013

Men look at women's behinds and go: what an ass! Women look at men faces and go: what an ass!

Buy Me , Fuck Me & Keep Me Safe
11:10AM on January 25, 2013

It's a man's job to respect women, but its a woman's Job to give him something to respect.

Maybe It's You ....
11:08AM on January 25, 2013

 Women who say that all men are the same are the ones who have not changed themselves and keep on attracting the same type of assholes.

Best Blinkie EVER !!!
11:03AM on January 25, 2013

K, these blinkies are brand new...
They are the most labor intensive blinkies to date... this is the 1st...
Dying to know what you think so please leave me a comment & all that jazz !!!
Those of you that frequent the Rude Forum know my blinkies from the Titty Tuesday & Tushy Thursday posts...
Don't worry I will be posting more & they will be on my website !!!

Smooches,
Nilou Achtland

What Motherfucker ?
11:03AM on January 25, 2013

When a girl says 'WHAT?' It doesnt mean she didnt hear you, she's giving you a chance to change what you said.

A Joke I Heard The Other Day #3
10:54AM on January 25, 2013

Q: Why doesn't a chicken wear pants?
A: Because his pecker is on his head!

A Joke I Heard The Other Day #2
10:51AM on January 25, 2013

Q. What did one saggy tit say to the other saggy tit?
A. If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts!

A Joke I Heard The Other Day #1
10:49AM on January 25, 2013

Q. What does a guy and a car have in common?
A. They both have the ability to misfire.

Amazon Wrestler Part1:
10:33PM on December 22, 2012

The ad on the internet promised $100,000 for any man who could defeat the amazon woman named Mistress Enormous in a no holds barred wrestling match. Winner has to take 2 out of 3 rounds by making the opponent submit. No referee, anything goes. I was certainly intrigued and I had wrestled some in high school. I was in pretty good shape at a trim 150 pounds. The ad made no mention of the woman's size, but I figured she was probably some fat cow. You had to fill out an application,and if you got picked, you'd be mailed a contract. I figured I had nothing to lose so I printed out the application and filled it out. You had to list your current job and closest relatives among other minor details. That was easy for me because I was currently unemployed and had no close living relatives. I put it in the mail the next day and figured I'd never hear anything, so I was shocked two weeks later when I got a contract in the mail to wrestle Mistress Enormous at her house with no witnesses. It seemed all legal. I would win $100,000 if I won two out of three rounds, but if I lost I would be her slave for a year. If I still wanted to go through with it, I was to sign the contract and come to the given address one week later, but tell no one where I was going. If I broke the terms of the contract, it would be null and void. I was to arrive at 10 pm on the given date. One week later I found myself driving on a remote rural road. I had been told to look for a trail wide enough for only one car at a certain mile mark. I pulled off on the trail that was heavily wooded and drove for about 2 miles before coming to a clearing. A short distance from the clearing appeared a large house with one light on on the first story and one on the second story. I had been told to ring the door bell. Shortly after ringing the door a man opened the door and asked me to enter. He was completely naked except for some kind of contraption over his cock and balls. I later discovered this was to prevent him from masturbating. He escorted me to a huge room that had a ring like you see on WWE in the center of the room and told me to take off all of my clothes and then enter the ring. He said his mistress would arrive soon. Sure enough, about five minutes later a figure wearing a hooded robe entered from a side door and entered the ring. The person was huge, at least 7 feet tall. When the robe was removed, my tongue nearly hit the floor. It was Mistress Enormous and the name didn't even begin to do her justice. She had huge, bulging biceps and thick thighs that looked like tree trunks. The most noticeable feature though was her ginormous tits that defied description such was their enormity. I guess she could tell by the expression on my face that I was really impressed. "You've made a huge mistake little man. I weigh 550 pounds to your 150 and no one knows where you are. I'm going to beat the shit out of you every day for the next year"
MORE TO CUM!!!!!!!!!

Amazon Wrestler Part2:
10:31PM on December 22, 2012

 She was completely naked and commanded me "Crawl over here on your hands and knees little man. You made a huge mistake mailing in that application. I run very careful background checks on all applicants. You haven't had a job in over a year so no coworkers to wonder what happened to you. No close living relatives to wonder where you are. No close friends to wonder where you are and the few friends you do have are not that close to ever miss you. In short, you could fall off the face of the earth and no one would miss you. Did you wonder why I live in such a huge mansion when you drove up. I

'm extremely wealthy because I've beaten every famous WWE male wrestler and secretly videotaped it and then threatened to put it on the internet unless they pay me a monthly blackmail payment. I make millions every month. I make them beg for mercy which would be career ending if seen. I'm not going to blackmail you though-I'm just going to beat you severely. Now start kissing my feet and slowly working your way up to my pussy." I did as she demanded, but when I got about to her thighs she said, "That's not good enough wimp." She suddenly picked me up by putting one gigantic hand behind my neck and the other on one ankle and lifted me above her head. Before I could say anything, she slammed me to the mat so hard that I bounced several inches in the air and then wrapped her huge thighs around my waist and began to squeeze the breathe out of me. I screamed for her to stop, that she would break my ribs.

"That's the idea sweetie. I'm going to break them all slowly, but just a few tonight." Her thighs were gigantic slabs of muscle that were bigger around than my chest-much bigger in fact. The pain was unbearable, but the more I begged her to stop, the more pressure she put on. She rolled on to her back and lifted her legs up in the air so I was suspended in the air between her giant anacondas. "I'll bet that $100,000 isn't looking so good now is it sweetie," and she laughed loudly and mocked me. "Am I too strong for my little boy-toy?" She repositioned me between her legs so that my face was now in her pussy. "Please me boy-toy or I'll start breaking those ribs one at a time". I didn't have any choice but to start eating her pussy. Her clit was gigantic- the size of a small penis. Her pussy was shaven and for that I was grateful. "Your not doing a good enough job slut. I want my juices to flow. I want to be writhing in ecstasy. You need some encouragement", and she flexed those powerful anacondas more so that I could hear my rib crack. I needed no more encouragement and put my tongue into overdrive so that it was moving so fast and deep it was like an oil drill.

"That's more like it cunt. I knew you had it in you", she said. Soon her juices were flowing from her pussy and she was moaning in pleasure. They were running down my face now, so fast were they flowing. "Suck and lick my big clit slut, suck on it like you enjoy it", she demanded. "Your going to get real good at this. In about a week's time you'll be an expert". I shuttered at the thought and wished with all my heart I had never answered that ad. How could I be so stupid? What kind of pain and humiliation was this giantess going to put me through? The answer came quicklly as she released me from her thighs and quickly moved her huge ass over my face. Each ass cheek had a tatoo of a Namio Harukawa drawing, a huge woman facesitting a small man. "You need to see my tatoos up close slave", she said. They were very erotic looking, but I didn't get much time to admire them as she lowered her ass so that my nose was burird in ass and then let out a huge fart. She laughed uproariously. "Do you like the smell slave? My ass hasn't been cleaned lately. I ran out of toilet paper. Get that tongue to work and you'd better do a terrific job".
MORE TO CUM

Amazon Wrestler Part3:
10:28PM on December 22, 2012

I was forced to clean her enormous ass for over an hour. "Time for some more wrestling wimp although I don't know if you'd call it wrestling since you're not doing any", and she laughed loudly. She put me in a bear hug and began squeezing the breath out of me with her powerful arms. She lifted me completely off the ground and increased the pressure. I began yelling and begging her to stop, but she kept increasing the pressure. She moved her grip so that her clenched hands were now over my broken rib, and I screamed even louder. "Scream all you want little man. No one's going to hear you and it really turns me on to hear you scream". Finally she released her grip, but only long enough to turn me upside down and lift me up so that my cock was even with her face. "I'm going to give you a little pleasure worm", and she began to suck on my cock with strong, powerful strokes, moving her mouth up and down my cock like a piston. My cock felt like it was in a vice, but the pleasure was like nothing I'd ever felt before. Then, sensing I was about to explode, she stopped and left me frustrated. "They'll be no cumming for you little man. I love bringing a man to the edge of orgasm and then denying him". She threw me to the mat again and jumped on top of me, pinning my legs so that my feet were back over my head and her enormous weight was over my legs. She began to push down more and more with her weight until I thought my legs would snap like a chicken bone. Finally she released me. "Time for some fun now cunt. I'm going to fuck you good". She put me in a leather harness so that I was suspended from the ceiling while lying on my back in the harness. My eyes nearly popped out of my head when I saw what was coming next. She produced a gigantic strapon that had to be at least 18 inches long and 4 inches thick. She took out a tube of lube and oiled the giant strapon all up and down the shaft. "I want to hear you scream slave. The louder you scream the more I enjoy what I'm doing to you. I don't believe in breaking a man in with a small strapon. Besides, this is the smallest I have", and she roared in laughter. I couldn't believe this was happening. I kept hoping it was all a bad dream and I'd wake up soon. When she penetrated mt asshole I knew it was no dream though. She was relentless and went to work fucking me with long hard strokes. "Look at my huge tits bounce slave while I fuck you. I want to see your cock get hard in spite of what I'm doing to you". Even though I was in great pain from the enormous fuck stick. I couldn't help not get hard at the sight of those enormous ta tas bouncing up and down ,up and down, up and down. They had to weigh at least 25 pounds each with huge areolas and nipples the size of my thumb. "No man dead or alive can stay limp at the sight of my huge tits". she said. Once again, just as I was about to explode, she stopped fucking me.
MORE TO CUM!

Beads of sweat...
10:27PM on December 22, 2012

I can see the beads of sweat forming on the twin globes of your huge ass as you ride my cock. Your ass is moving up and down my fuck stick like the pistons of a car as you moan with pleasure. You've been fucking me for 15 minutes now, but I'm unable to cum because you've tied off my balls tightly and also put a tight cock ring behind the head of my cock. The cum is now pounding through my cock creating great pressure. I can feel the pulsing increase with each down stroke of your magnificent ass. "Lift your head and lick the sweat off my ass worm", you demand. I lift my upper body off the bed so that my tongue barely reaches your ass and begin to lick the sweat from your ass. I can taste the salt as I continue to lick. "Good job slave. Now lick the rim of my asshole". I begin to probe your hole and all around the rim of it and your moans of pleasure increase even more from the fucking and rimming. Suddenly you stop and dismount my rod, but quickly get back on, this time facing me. You begin to fuck me again only faster than before. Your tits are bouncing wildly, exiting me even more. The cum is just pulsing and pulsing through my cock now as the pressure buildup is becoming unbearable. "Would you like to cum slut"?, you ask. "Oh PLEEEEASE mistress", I beg. "Then suck my big ta tas worm", and you lean forward and offer up a tit to my awaiting mouth. I stuff as much of the tit in my mouth as possible and suck as hard and fast as I possibly can. You are now screaming in pleasure and your pussy juices are flowing from your cunt onto my stomach and down my leg. Finally you reach down and remove my ball restrains and my cock ring. Almost immediately the cum explodes like a jet stream from my cock and blasts into the depths of your cunt. I scream from the waves of pleasure that I feel at the release. On and on it goes, escaping from my cock into your pussy. You dismount and mount my mouth now. "Lick every last drop of your cum from my pussy. Don't waste one drop of it". I begin to lick my own cum from your pussy and swallow it. "Very good boy toy. You're improving".