My Blog :: Thanks to all of you who have visited my page, watched my video clips, purchased my videos, custom vids, tipped my livehouse Just left me lovely comments, voted, helped with my shows !!! All that great stuff !!! If you love my ass as much as I do, lol, stay tuned, there's more to love !!! I'm always looking for hotness to help with my videos, so, by all means, cum & talk 2 me... I usually have either jokes or some serious questions... hopefully something to make you smile & think... don't forget to vote & comment !!! Smooches, Nilou Achtland

bad but funny...
1:56AM on May 14, 2013

Q: What do you call 2 nuns and a blonde?
A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver. 

Dreaded words
1:54AM on May 14, 2013

Q: What are three words you dread the most while making love?
A: "Honey, I'm home." 

Oxygen
1:52AM on May 14, 2013

Why do men have a hole in their penis?
So their brains can get some oxygen now and then.

Fresh air
1:51AM on May 14, 2013

Q: Why is fresh air a lot like sex?
A: Because its no big deal unless youre not getting any.

Sounds about right, lol
1:50AM on May 14, 2013

Q: How do mermaids reproduce?
A: Seamen. 

Light or Hard
1:49AM on May 14, 2013

Q: Whats the difference between light and hard?
A: You can sleep with a light on.

Cute & funny...
1:46AM on May 14, 2013

Q: Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties?
A: To find a tight seal. 

Loud & Annoying ?
1:44AM on May 14, 2013

Q: What does fucking a woman and cooking an egg in the microwave have in common?
A: Both end with a loud, annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean up. 

Virgins & waterbeds
1:43AM on May 14, 2013

Q: What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?

A: A cherry float. 

Always leave'm wanting more, air... lol
1:33AM on May 14, 2013

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Oral or Anal
1:31AM on May 14, 2013

What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak. 

Dick & Pussy Jokes
1:27AM on May 14, 2013

Boy: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, its too long."
Girl: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Never mind, you won't get it." 

Bigamy, Monogamy, let's call the whole thing of !!!
1:24AM on May 14, 2013

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same. 

Head Nurse
1:15AM on May 14, 2013

Q: How can you tell which is the head nurse?
A: She's the one with the dirty knees.

Brazilians... lol
1:06AM on May 14, 2013

A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian...." The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?" 

Penis or toy envy ?
1:02AM on May 14, 2013

 Q: Why are black men penises bigger than white men?
A: Because as kids white men had toys to play with! 

Guidos
1:00AM on May 14, 2013

Q: Why are most Guidos named Tony?
A: When they got on the boat to America they stamped To NY (Tony) on their foreheads.

New from my Django Jazz video...
12:35AM on May 14, 2013




Make sure you check out Nilou's primo tit flix !!!
Definitely for the Titty fan !!!

Smooches,
Nilou Achtland

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Horny Indian
12:24AM on May 14, 2013

One very hot dry day, a local cowboy visited the reservation. He went there from time to time to mingle with the Indians. There was this one Indian that the cowboy has become friends with. This Indian was pretty much a loner from all the other tribe. He was all alone, his parents got killed in battle, an he had no squaw that he claimed as his own.

This cowboy felt sorry for the lonely Indian. He told him that he could help him overcome being so lonely. But, he would have to go into the nearby town. Told him to go into the town saloon and walk up to the bar. There would be a lady standing behind the bar. Tell her that you want a woman, she will take care of you. I will tell her to be expecting you.

Next day the Indian went into town and walked up to the bar in the saloon. The Indian began this conversation with the lady. Indian: Me want a woman. Lady: How much money do you have? Indian: What is money! Lady: It is something that you must have to spend time with one of my girls. She explained to the Indian what money was. So the Indian left and told her that he would return.

A couple of days pasted and the Indian returned. He approached the bar. Indian: Me want a woman. Lady: Did you get you any money? Indian: Yea, me got plenty of money. Lady: Do you have any experience with a woman? Indian: What you mean by experience? Lady: You have to be experienced to spend time with my girls.

The Lady explained to the Indian how he could get his experience. Lady: You go to the mountains and find a big tree. Make sure it is one that has a knot hole in it. You will be able to get all the experience you wish. Then when you feel that you have all the experience that you can get. You can come back here and I will have one of my girls take care of your needs.

The Indian left the town and went up into the mountains. One week passed by before the Indian returned. The next week the Indian returned to the saloon. He was very angry and very aggressive with the lady behind the counter. Indian: Me want a woman, an me want woman right now!

Lady: Have you gotten any experience since you were here last? Indian: Me got all kinds of experience, an a bag full of money. Me want woman now. Lady: All right! Follow me to the top of the stairs. The Indian followed her to the top of the steps to a door. He opened the door and there stood the most lovely woman he had ever seen.

He closed the door behind him and walked up to the woman. She asked, "What would you like for me to do?" The woman began removing all of her clothes also the Indian. The Indian asked, "Turn around and bend-em over and touch your toes." She liked that ideal, so she turned around and bent over like the Indian ask.

The Indian stepped up behind the woman and pulled back his leg and kicked her in the ass. The woman jumped up in surprise. She ask the Indian, "What in the hell did you have to do that for?" The Indian looked at the woman and replied, "me checking for bees in that knot hole." By Gizmo

Funnies
12:20AM on May 14, 2013

Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!