My Blog :: It's ok to be talk, talk, talk... but let's be honest... everyone has an opinion and I welcome all opinions... it helps me understand better some of the more extremes...

ALONE AGAIN......naturally.....
1:59AM on July 09, 2011

well, by my presence on line... you can probably guess that I am ALONE!  that's my blog tonite... and I did NOT ever agree to meet him, HE said he was going to call me.... but he did not... no messages, no caller ID w/o a message... nada, zip, zilch....   la sigh... now, I know that he could have just gotten busy... so....  tomorrow nite...  MAYBE I WILL CALL HIM>>> I was very busy today...

Maybe he DID get nervous...  who the hades KNOWS  !!  Maybe no one EVEN CARES!

Well, daggone it!!  I think I care...  dambit... 

Since we work together... if he doesn't take my call tomorrow nite... well, I will just straight up ask him if he
was playing with me from the start... yep that is what I'm gonna do... 

I think that I will go to bed early tonite and take a long bath and get all scented up and put a little girlie something and watch a little porn and have a drink or two to "relax" and then
when it is dark, I will call him... ask him where he is....  "donde estoy?"  and leave off the "mi amor"... maybe
say "mi amigo"... cuz ....  "el habla espanol"   maybe he will be in town... maybe I can drive to Lex and meet him @ his house.... "su casa es mi casa"  !!!  lol    OK....  that's enuf!   *sniggers*

Ok, I'll keep ya posted on what Saturday nite brings.... hopefully not Satruday nite, tho'.... hopefully on Sunday afternoon b4 I have to go to work.....  yeah... I will be seeing him at work that nite...  I hope I get to fuck 'em b4 then............    la sigh

OK.... there's this new guy.... he's 1/2 my age...
5:52AM on July 08, 2011

And he's a cutie...  and he's really "small" bodied with this huge cock... I wrote him a sexual email and he came up to me after reading it... AT WORK... and he found me sitting @ the computer and leaned his cock against my arm... and told me he hoped he was big enuf for me...  I had my mouth open in surprise and shock... then he went away for a few minutes and came back with his phone out... he'd gone to the restroom and taken a foto of his erect cock for me....  he's got a long wide uncircumcised cock, when it is erect it looks like a wonderfully tasty brown lickable dick that is so arousing when I think about it... and believe me I think about it...
He's been nice, says he likes a woman with a large ass, and I DO qualify for that, and that he would LOVE to have me be his 1st older woman...  we've been going around and around for more than a month... we work together in the same large department in a BIG hospital... soap opera worthy, huh?... and I've sent his a few fotos, since he showed me his...  lol... but I am PETRIFIED with nerves... 
He seems to be ready and willing... ANYTIME I am.... but I am so full of nerves.... this happens to me when I have to face having sex with someone new... let's face it... I am NOT that experienced with multiple lovers... ok, I am new to the "freedom" to play...
I was married for nearly 20y, had a live-in boyfriend for almost 7y... he's moved out, it's a long story... we'd NOT been intimate for about 15 months... and this sweet, young, cute thing is gently pushing me to meet him for sex...  he's said that he would love to meet once a week, if not more. We are supposed to meet tonite....  I would rather not meet @my house but payday is a week away and neither of us are rich... we can't afford a room and he actually commutes 70 miles from where he lives to work.  He says he lives across the street from him Mom and he gets no privacy so... he says it's not safe to go to his house...
I can understand how he would not want his Mom to see me going into his house... "what is that older lady doing over there with my son?"  and all the cross examination that he might get when he sees her again after I leave....  I get that... but do I want him to know where I live? 
I just worry...  and I am soooooooo nervous... but also VERY excited.... 
*chuckles* 
What's a woman to do?
DO GUYS GET NERVOUS?
 

KEWL!... but how'd THAT happen?
7:53PM on July 05, 2011


I worked the whole four day weekend for July 4th and come back today to find that my Producer status
was approved!  Woooo Hooooo

I went to my page and under my kitties' foto I see this "I'M A VIP" sign glittering at me...  how'd THAT happen...
I had been browsing thru the forum and had read about becoming a VIP by "harassing" the admin enuf to get them to make you a VIP just to shut ya up...  I figgered that it would be really hard to become a VIP, as I am not the kind to beg or harass anyone

Since I did not get any mail about this change, I keep expecting to see that li'l sign disappear from my page... each time I go back to my page... it's been there still... so far... lol !

So, since I cannot reply to admin mail...  this is where I will make my gratitude known....



THANK YOU VERY MUCH ! 

sex Sex SEX !!
11:37PM on June 30, 2011

WOW !  A new realization.... and I am totally flabbergasted to reach this conclusion, too!

I tended to think I was a fairly sexually oriented person...  more male in my thinking patterns than even my "current boyfriend" who hasn't sexed me since May 2010 !  He accused me of thinking about sex "too much" and HE IS LATINO!!  ROFLMAO !! 

Anywho, I just became of fan of a group of persons and I have gotten email notifications daily since then of new pics and vids, daily, let's be clear.  I was amazed to find a male as the poster of these notices... with the handle of a traditionally female word...  so, I reviewed the post dates on some of the prior vids and fotos and I then realized that this guy and his lady friends post almost daily since ... many months back....  daily sex.... amazing  and  and  and

MAYBE THAT'S WHY I AIN'T GETTING ANY !!  THAT GUY IS GETTING ALL THE SEX!!  Perhaps the amount of sex in the world is like... finite...  like intelligence....

I have a full time job, I have chores-indoor and outdoor, I have two kitties to take care of, a few friends to go out for fun with, a facebook profile to tend, games I like to play online, I make jewelry for gifting and a small amount of profit when asked to make someone something....  and I LOVE to spend time watching the vids and looking at pics here... BUT this sex everyday business... how do you ever get ANYTHING else done... not to mention SLEEP!?!?!?!?!?

I need time management classes!

Watch & BE Watched
5:13AM on June 30, 2011


Since I joined up here to watch videos, I have watched quite a few and I am really enjoying myself.  I have
become more sexually active, even if it is alone...  I actually love to feel aroused, the tinglying and wet
hotness in my clit and pussy...  it's a gr8 feeling to know that I am wet and ready to have gr8 sex, when and if I ever get to see my "friend with benefits" again...
I need to go get some fresh batteries for my vibrating dildo... and my bullet is beginning to run a bit slower...
guess I need to think about that when I am using them... ration them so that I can make them last until pay day when I can buy some more...  lol
My cam is new, so I am still learning how to "make movies"... I have put two on here so far, but have made about six more... just not "acceptable" to me... lighting and sound quality need work...  I hope to be able to get a scan of my ID so that I can send it in to get my "Producer" status finished...  the cam I bo't doesn't have the resolution to see the birthdate on my ID and I can't figger out how to fix that so... gotta scramble around and find a scanner that can then email the image to my home computer... They could see my face... so do I look to be less than 18y old? (SNORT!!!) yeah, yeah, protocol and procedure, rules and regs... blah, blah, blah !
Same ol' shit, different day...
Thanks for stopping by...  have a good day! 

Stranger Sex... like an UNKNOWN person... not activity...
2:37AM on June 28, 2011

In watching the videos... I am constantly challenged to open up my thinking...  I see multiple
partners, people who have just met, getting naked for cameras, fotos, people watching while filming,
I can sometimes hear other people having sex off the camera... it is really obvious that I have led a
VERY sheltered life...  If I am gonna catch up AT ALL, I have really got to get a move on!

I have NEVER had sex with a total stranger...  I have always known or gotten to know the men I
have had sex with... and usually I have prefered to call it "making love"...  wow, ok, so I am very
much more old fashioned than I have ever tho't I was... lol...  I met only ONE person on line and
he was a real gentleman and we got to know each other and now love to have sex with each other but I feel a real affection for him....

I watched a vid where this very sexually oriented set of people were swapping around partners
and I am going to guess that they were all friends of the married couple who hosts these little
get togethers... I have never had a friend who I wanted to have sex with them nor their husbands... where in the world do you find friends like that? 

In another vid, this room where apparently most of the filming is done is laid out like a sex playroom.
Bars like I wish I had on my headboard, ropes, chains, cuffs, toys and whips and toys and they
could start a store for sex toys and give classes... 

Is it possible to overcome the conservative upbringing?  Yes, I have becum so much more
sexual than I ever tho't I'd be... is it possible to travel along the spectrum toward the end that
represents the sexual freedom to have sex with anyone who has a cock... ?have sex with a
woman...?... let someone tie me up?  have sex with someone else there?  have sex on camera with another person watching or filming?  meet a room full of people for the 1st time and take off all my clothes and have sex with each one ?...   how ? 

I was scared to post this here but figgered, heck, if I can't air my concerns and fears and doubts
here on my own "blog"... where can I ? ? ? ?
It's not painless, either, let me tell ya... it kinda hurts to have these kind of fears and doubts, my sexuality in limbo, learning new things and wanting to grow my sexuality but aftraid...
any advice? 

(if my other two blog posts' responses are any indication... I'm in trouble)

Learning NEW Things... MMMmmm !
2:48AM on June 27, 2011

I have learned new words and terms and seen some very interesting "lifestyle" types...
I am amazed at what I have never heard of or seen before coming here...

I have never heard of a bar/club that allows people to get up on a stage and get half naked 
or even fully naked and gyrate and play with themselves on a stage in from of all the other
patrons before coming here....

I have never heard the term "camel toe" or "tribadism" before....  I never even heard the 
phrase "bust a nut" before.... at least not in a sexual way...  when I have heard "bust a nut"
before this... it always referred to a man with a ruptured testicle...(work related usage)... a not too good a thing....

I have never seen a person with breasts and a penis.... why are most of them Asian?....   and
when someone is fucking them... why are they not aroused enuf to have a hard cock?  I have
always had sex for a mutual reason... for me and for the partner I am with...  I have not actually gone and watched vids that state gay men together... but the tranny ones are dis-
appointing to me that the tranny doesn't seem to be aroused in that their cocks are not
aroused and hard... is there no reach around action??  

Sometimes learning new things just makes for LOTS and LOTS of new questions.... hmmm, anyone have any answers for this naive newbie, so she is not so  un-edumacated ?  Maybe my rude name should be LOTS2LEARN.... lol ! 

Gagging.... what up with that...?!
2:27AM on June 26, 2011


Hello to anyone who decides to join in...

I joined up here becuz I am horny all the time and I luv to watch other people
have sex...  boys and girls and girls and girls... and am interested in learning new
things...which I HAVE already accomplished ! YEA !!

BUT... one thing I have noticed... the guys gagging the girls with their cocks...
I had a little chat with one of my buddies and he didn't get it either... so, what is
it about making a woman gag on yer cock that is a turn on... ?  And to gag her to the
point of vomiting??  YUKKY Gross and ICK ! 

When I play with a cock... I like to play and tease and suck and lick... but I do not
find gagging a turn on... I also don't like a man to hold my head or neck...  I am
done when a man tries to control my head movement and force his cock down my throat...
cuz that is not erotic to me... 

I also, as a side comment, don't understand spitting on your lover... if you need to "lube up" yer lover... they are not aroused...  clue ...  ??

OK, now you know how I feel... anyone else wanna chime in here?  Thanks !!