|
|
THIS SHIT CALLED LOVE
12:47AM on January 18, 2010
Felt like I had to get something off my chest tonight. This month marked 1 year since this girl that I had mad love for straight up told me she didn't wanna see me anymore. Why? Let's go back to the beginning
I met this girl in '08. It started out as a casual thing you know, meeting up and sexin' it up. But the more we met up, the more we talked and got to know each other more. Yeah she still was in a relationship but the nigga was treatin' her like shit! Cheated on her (probably more than once) abused her emotionally and verbally. It had never tured physical she told me, because it had, 'ol dude would've been laid up in a hospital in a coma and shit 'cuz I don't play that abusive shit. This nigga had pulled some fucked up shit and she broke up with him and I'm thinkin that there could be a chance for me and her ya know? I mean the sex was THE SHIT! Hours of fucking and love-making the shit was good. But she ain't wanna be filmed and even though I would've loved to put all that hot shit on rude, I actually cared about her and respected her that much not to go there with her.
The more we met up and the more we talked, the closer we got. That night she told me she loved me. The look in her eyes, I believe she meant that shit and I meant it when I told her too. And for the next couple of months it was all good until '09 started and that's when she did the 180 and told me it was a wrap!
I'm man enough to admit I was hurt and pissed. I mean this girl said things to me, did things for me (and to me lol) that no other female ever did. We texted and message each other so damn much. I thought she had real love for me. Even after the break-up, I had called her up a few times to see how she was and if she was good. I knew that shit was dumb, but hey I still cared 'bout her. But for most of '09, I got to thinking some things.
It was definitely obvious she had wanted to get back with her ex even after the shit he put her through. They been together all them years and that shit just don't go away overnight so why she had to go and say that "love" shit to me if she ain't meant that shit?
During the break-up she just kept going on and on about this nigga and I brushed it aside but she basically used me to make her feel safe in a way. To fill that "void" until her ex came back and shit. How I know all this? She told me after not talking to her for months that they got back together and ended up doing the same shit to her as before!
This was a woman I would've did anything for and treated her like she was worth more than anything but I was fucking used. She ain't mean none of that love shit or probably all them things she said to me or did for me. If she did, why she ignored my calls, my texts, my messages during '09? My numba was the damn same!
We both were going through our shit and I told her shit I never told anyone else 'cuz I ain't trusted no one else. Now I feel like a dumb nigga for real. I mean we always met up in motels and shit. She never told her peoples about me or her friends. She basically was with me 'cuz i guess she felt sorry for me, cuz she thought I could never get a girl or some shit.
That's some dirty shit fucking with a man's emotions and feelings like that ya know? I mean I'm man enough to admit, I've been dumped times before but this shit was real fucked up. That's why I'm staying single probably 'til a nigga deep in the ground. No wifey no kids, no nothing. This shit right here ain't worth it. That's why I see some couples out there and here on rude and I'm like "Y'all lucky" Y'all fellas got that woman that got real love for you, ride or die type shit and that they down for whateva.
That's why I ain't looking for that special someone anymore. I'm done with all that love shit! That shit dead to me, feel me? And no, my decision didn't start with her, (cuz like I said I been through being rejected before) but it definitely ended with her. Real talk.
Sometimes I gotta know, 'cuz it seems like a woman would pass up on a good guy, maybe we don't have all our shit together, maybe we ain't got alot of that paper, but we got real love for ya. Most of y'all ladies would leave a brotha for another brotha y'all think is "better" More money, model-type, muscular-type or a nigga from the streets. Sometimes I ask myself "Why some of y'all be doing shit like that?"
|
| Comments |
misse... |
January 20, 2010 (Report It)
i didnt look at this until the mail u put out thanking people for what they wrote to u. but i must tell u that women go through this all the time. that guys do the same thing that this girl did to u. and it does hurt. but l want u to know that u are not and were not wrong for caring about a womans feelings. u are a real man. not many men can or will admit this but u get mad points for telling your story. it gives me hope that one day i will find someone who cares for me the way u cared for her. there is nothing wrong with caring about people. dont make the downfalls of others make u bitter. but u have to heed the signs. and speak when u see an issue. her talking about the dude all the time was a clear indicator that there was an issue. we always have to know when to say when. u will find a woman who will appreciate u for who u are. and i will tell u. to have what we cant is always a turn on.....that is my issue too. i am a romantic. i will be thinkin that beyond all odds we can make it so i ignore what is right in front of my face. life goes on baby. and u are a special guy who will find that special one for u. that is a fact. just dont be bitter like woman get when it happens to us too damn much. but heed those warning signs. a person can and will show u much more than they can tell u....so be careful. i wish u luck baby.....Muah. deedee. |
fukwa... |
January 18, 2010 (Report It)
Damn son! When i read this i was like WTF? Some of the things you talking about similiar to mine blog. Except the decision you made at the end is different though. U say u chose to be single and mingle and me........well you'll know if you read it. lol. I know you straight my dude but don't be afraid to check my blog out cuz it do got some of the thins you talking about and i read another blog on here that was also kinda saying da same thing. So dude, u ain't da only asking the question why females choose the way they do? But stay up man. Fuck her there's millions and billons of other females in the world. |
kamlu... |
January 18, 2010 (Report It)
Just remember "We live and we learn", or at least we suppose to. Sometimes we do stuff that is unexplainable for that love shit. A lot of times we make decisions that we know is not right, but yet still we stick with what was comfortable or felt good for all those years. As far as doing it all over again when love comes back around the man upstairs will let you know with no hesitation about what happen before. Don't give up let it come to you, but still enjoy life and sex. ~Luvher~ |
First... |
January 18, 2010 (Report It)
I always wondered why girls choose to settle for a man that aint worth shit, and run from a good nigga that would do anything and everything for them? I mean...good sex can only take a relationship so far.... I honestly feel she had real love for you but she got caught up in a situation where she was stuck between 2 dudes and she chose to go back to what she knew and was comfortable with. The reason why I say this is because it doesn't sound like she was using you for money, or for sex...you guys both shared intimate moments and spent alot of time together and ppl who are with someone for a reason don't invest that much time. I think she ignored your calls and your texts because it was easier for her to be faithful to her nigga by staying as far away from you as possible. Look at it like this, atleast she had enough respect for you to be upfront with you about everything and cut all ties with you, rather than to string you along as her go-to-guy when her heart really belonged to another nigga. I know that shit hurt cause you let your guard down and gave her your all, but don't let that stop you from from moving on. Don't let this situation affect how you deal with the next shorty you check for.
At the end of the day, it's her loss. You seem like an ambitious, caring person and you have no kids, do you have any idea how much girls are looking for a man with no baggage? No Kids? No babymama drama? LOL Your a good dude and one day you're gonna find that 5 star chick and this chick you thinking about now will just be a memory. STAY STRONG MY DUDE! |
fanta... |
January 18, 2010 (Report It)
All of what you said is damn near the same thing that women go through. It's definitely hard to fall in love with someone and it not be truly reciprocated. Yes, she used you unfortunately. I see her as one of those chicks who can never be alone because they don't have enough self-esteem to be by theirselves. She probably met that dude when she was at an impressionable age and that's all she really knew and will ever know. It's good that you found out that she's no good before you got yourself caught up for real like getting her pregnant or something. Sometimes the one we "feel" is right for us, really are not. If they were then they wouldn't hurt us and ignore us. I can't tell you not to give up on love because I'm damn near in that boat with ya...lol! However, I look at how my parents found each other and they were opposites but had a beautiful relationship and marriage that would have been 33 years together on the 15th. They are still together but in heaven. You can find that happiness with a woman who will be there for you, about you, and will compliment you. If you haven't already, check out my blog "If I ever fall in love". You'll see that you're not the only one to go through times like this. But much luck to you in whatever you decide to do with the rest of your love life! |
MzPha... |
January 18, 2010 (Report It)
I can't say I don't understand or know where you're coming from bcuz I do..Women as well as men have been through similar experiences, but you can't let what ur past has done to you determine your future. It's completely understandable that you would wish to leave well enough alone and just the way you are right now, but you got to be ready to say that you give up on dat special person coming into your life and sweeping you off your feet. Not someone that you look for bcuz real love will find you, and you will no exactly what and who it is if you give them a chance. I know you don't want to put your heart out there again and I'm not telling you to bcuz heartache is the worse pain a person can have, but what I'm saying is be open. Don't let the negativity block your positive nature. Keep doing you, but be open babe..Be alert and stay on top and you will make and you will be happy again. There's love and happiness for everyone you just to got be open to it..like i said don't look for it just be ready for it and when it come you will know...Be blessed rude friend and keep dat heart safe until the time is right...~kisses~ |
|
Go Back to All Posts
Login to Add Your Comments
|
|
