THE BEST SEX QUOTES
8:48AM on April 02, 2012
THE BEST SEX QUOTES
I track down some funny, weird, and inspiring sex quotes, and thought what better place to share them. Check them out, and if you have any good ones to add, pleeeeease do put them in the comments below. Oooo?? and have you got any faves out of this list, do tell. Cheers!
1) "Would it be terribly inconvenient if I arranged to spend this winter between your thighs?"
2) "You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?"
3) "Sex is like math. Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and hope you don't multiply!"
4) "We always assume that the sexual lives of our parents came to a grinding halt at our conception"
5) "A mans dick should always remember its manners, and stand up when a lady wishes to sit down"
6) There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A cheese sandwich is better than bad sex!
7) "She's not a lesbian, she just ran out of men"
8) "When a girl wants love, she offers sex. When a guy wants sex, he offers love."
9) I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on now
10) Women dont care about balls. We care about dick... I've never once heard a woman say: "He had such a big full scrotum""
11) "Some women aren't meant to be tamed. They just need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with them.
12) "There are only two times that I want to be with you - Now and Forever."
13) "Love is a name. Sex is a game. Forget the name. Let's play the game!"
14) "For women the best aphrodisiacs are words. Her most responsive G-spot is in her ears. Men wud do well to remember that"
15) "Despite popular beleif, masturbation is the one sexual activity in which the female most frequently reaches orgasm"
16) A girls legs are her best friends, but even the best of friends must sometimes part =->"
17) "You know you're a bad lover when you give women an anti-climax!"
18) "Sex is one of the most sweetest, beautiful, natural, and wholesome things that money can buy!"
19) When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows
20) Definition of a Nymphomaniac: A woman who is as obsessed with sex as the average man
21) An intellectual is a person who has found at least one thing that's more interesting than sex.
22) "Tip: Wearing your skirt so short they can see your tampon string, is NOT sexy."
23) "If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all o.o."
24) "I have a lot of issues with sex...! e.g. Playboy, Penthouse, and Hustler."
25) "U wrapped ur arms around me, pressing ur body against mine and in that moment of perfection I knew we were meant to be"
26) Love Is when you are in the back seat of your car and your feet are hanging out of the window and U couldn't care less
27) "I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself."
28) "Sex is alot like pizza. When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad, it's still pretty good."
29) Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing
30) When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute =->"
31) "A promiscuous person is just a person who lucky enough to be getting more sex than you are"
32) I think I could fall madly in bed with you
33) A man occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation =->
34) Q. What's female Viagra? A. Jewelry
35) "A true lady is one who never shows off her underwear, unintentionally ;->."
36) "Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus."
37) "a number of mechanical devices increases sexual arousal in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz convertible
38) The only difference between pornography and erotica is lighting
39) Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of the best =->"