My Blog :: My mental meanderings, anecdotes and exploits in the Rude way.

Club Review: Forbidden Bar and Lounge, West Hollywood CA
12:12PM on March 26, 2012

Forbidden Bar & Lounge 
Category: Lounges
Neighborhood: West Hollywood
3/19/2012


I attended a birthday party with MsBambie here this past Saturday night. I didn't know quite what to expect but, knowing some of those attending, figured on a Hip Hop, 20s to 30s crowd, lower middle class to middle class, baggy jeans, sneakers, overly large shirts. Nailed those stats.

We arrived late in the night and the valet was full; fortunately, we found street parking nearby.

There was no cover charge, which usually spells danger (see my review of The Savoy). Bingo. If anyone can waltz in, anyone usually does.

I ordered bottle service in advance and, because of the many unknowns, requested the Moet (at $150 plus an 18% service gratuity). That seemed a tad stiff but, hey, it was a party. The drink turned out to be spot on. Score one for Forbidden.

Things went downhill from there. First, the seat reserved with the bottle service was at the front door and in the direct path of all ingress and egress foot traffic. We spent the night with people sauntering to and fro across our  nicely-shined shoes. More than a few people actually tripped on my legs; it was just that tight.

Second, the table on which one would normally set their drinks was at the side of the bench, accessible to anyone at the bar. I spent much of the night watching our bottle, cautious of sip-thieves. I couldn't reach the Moet from my end of the bench as it was not in front of me.
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Third, there was NO service. An 18% gratuity but no one to serve the drinks, no one to check in with us to see if we required other "services," no one to up-sell, nothing.  Piss poor, if I might say (inelegantly, yes...).

The music, on the other hand, was great, as best I could determine (I assess it by the acknowledgments of the crowd and the response on the dance floor). The under-30 MsBambie attended with me and she bolstered my appraisal. Score two for Forbidden.

But MsBambie also reports that there is only one restroom in the place. Upon her visit to it, the lights were out and the switch didn't turn them on. She noticed a man standing nearby - he seemed to work there - so she asked him about it. "Oh, yeah. Just a minute," he replied. Then he went into the restroom and LIT CANDLES. Not for erotic or sensual illumination or aromatherapeutic purposes but for, well, light. How low-class (and low-watts) is that?

The numbers are against them. I don't plan to ever return.

Club Review: The Savoy, Inglewood CA
3:55AM on March 15, 2010


User Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
by CalifStyle
03/15/2010

I took two lady friends, erotic author Crystal The Ravishing and Rude.com porn star Ms Bambie, to the Savoy on Saturday, March 13. We were looking for an Old School, upscale venue and thought to give it a try. First, though, I read the reviews on the internet and passed them on to my lady friends. We agreed that it takes a dissatisfied customer to take the time to write a review. Happy campers don't usually bother. Considering that, we opted to check it out for ourselves.

I had been to the Savoy once before for a birthday party in 2007 but didn't want that mildly negative experience to unfairly influence our decision in 2010.

We became concerned at curb side. Although the Savoy's web site advertises itself as upscale, the people queued to enter were anything but. Second, the sign upon entering said "Dress Code Enforced." That was untrue; we noted patrons wearing t-shirts, baggy jeans and sneakers. The drinks were, indeed, watered (Ms Bambie complained that the Amaretto Sour she ordered tasted more like "Kool Aid, not a drink") - we sent the drinks back and they were returned in the same watery state; nearly all of the guys came off as desperate and disrespectful; and too many of the women were tacky. The web site posted a cover charge of $10; we were charged $15 with no apology or explanation. All of this echoes previous reviews.

The physical plant was unremarkable but inoffensive. Previous reviews described it accurately. The DJ played a strangely eclectic blend of music, making it hard to maintain a groove. There wasn't a discernible theme of any sort. The neighborhood, in the middle of downtown Inglewood, can only be described as "hood." As a matter of fact, while my Ms Bambie was on the floor dancing, two men next to her began fighting over a perceived slight. On a side note, table and floor maintenance could stand some attention.

On the plus side, the dance floor was spacious and always busy. Security was visible but not intrusive. A couple of the waitresses were quite attendant although our first waitress seemed inexperienced and, well, high.

Leaving was worse than entering. Adolescent boys descended upon my ladies with unsolicited groping, rubbing, pulling, and begging. Their pitiful pickup lines were characteristically lame, worn and tired...and unimaginative. Not one "man" offered to buy either of the ladies a drink as part of their introduction. Whatever happened to "vuelven los caballeros"? As we pulled away from the curb, these boys knocked on my Jag's windows in a last-ditch effort at getting an audience with Ms Bambie or Crystal. I'm thinking, "WTF?"

We don't expect to return and would not recommend it to anyone seeking a truly upscale evening experience. However, if the unsophisticated and testosterone-intensive is acceptable, then it could work for you.

Long Live Big-Butt Women!
8:25PM on February 01, 2010


Long Live Big-Butt Women!

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Carmel Candi: Rolling into 2009
11:27PM on November 15, 2009

 The BBBJ Jewel from Cali's IE

5:14AM on July 13, 2008
 

MsBambie and I interview a newbie
8:14PM on June 28, 2009

On Friday night, MsBambie (www.rude.com/MsBambie) and I "interviewed" a potential addition to our polyamorous relationship. Our girlfriend Fierce was preparing for a major Saturday event of her own (a pool party for XXL magazine, which is one of her marketing clients) and couldn't join us. Our other girlfriend Ty (www.rude.com/SugarTyTee) is under the weather so she sat this one out, too.

Our potential newbie, Cynthia, joined us for dinner at the Doubletree Hotel in Ontario, Calif., followed by dancing at Misty's Lounge. MsBambie, of course, owned the dance floor with all eyes on her as she waved her massive 45-inch ass and bounced her now-38DD-pluses all over the floor (yeah, MsBambie's cup size has grown...and the DDs are snug, too).

The two ladies connected sufficiently to allow us to take the party home for a white-hot menage-a-trois that roasted until 5 a.m. Saturday morning. I'll save the details for a blog that I plan to post on my Rude.com page in a few days (www.rude.com/CalifStyle/blog). I spent Saturday recovering.

Briefest briefing: Cynthia is 35, bi-situational, 5'5", 125 lbs., black (Jamaican)-Latina (Mexican), lives in the Inland Empire area of Southern California, and has yet to attend a swinger party (we're thinking of breaking her in at my girl Maria's N'Deavours party on July 11). Cynthia is an IT professional and an Air Force veteran.

Cynthia has a very high public profile and a bad case of photophobia so we won't be posting any photographs that can be used to identify her - but body parts are okay.

Cynthia and I are going roller skating tonight in Chino (Skate Express) because it's Oldies Night. MsBambie has other nocturnal plans but I'll leave that for her to share; catch her on twitter if you really want to know.

Kato

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Thoughts on the BBC Phenomena
3:31PM on May 24, 2009


MsBambie, Fierce, and CalifStyle appearing on RudeTV 
(c) 2009 Alley Cat Media

BBCs
In the Lifestyle (swinging) community, there are routine posts seeking BBCs. This initialism is code for BigBlackCock. These posts typically come from white and Latina women. There is an underlying assumption, I guess, that black women already have, or have unfettered access to, the BBCs as I see extremely few posts of this sort from black women (except for my girl Tulsa_Moon who insists on any cock that will "fill her up" as long as it meets her 'groove' or rhythm preference).

This blog is to share my thoughts on the subject as I get far more of these requests than I deserve.

First, a bit on The I

I am 6' tall, 200 lbs. with an athletic build. I own my home and live with two thick, bisexual hotties, MsBambie and Fierce. Our girlfriend Ty (SugarTyTee) lives nearby and visits often.

Someone once called me a metrosexual. Not knowing if it was meant as an insult, I looked it up in Esquire magazine. The definition they gave seems to fit me.

Metrosexual Me
I enjoy dancing - both contemporary and ballroom, cruises, cinema (preferably foreign and independent films), theatre, fine dining, road trips and physical culture. I am an accomplished cook and love shopping, interior design and other fine arts. I have a gym built into my home and work out five days a week. I get a manicure every ten days and a pedicure every six weeks.

I am fastidious and won't leave the house unless I am dressed nattily. Nor will I range through the malls or other public locales with anyone who is not presentably attired. "Always be presentable" is what I practice. You never know whom you will meet while out and about.

I don't follow any sports. I don't know the teams, players or seasons. My thinking is this: no matter who wins, I don't get paid.

I'm a voracious reader, preferring non-fiction but having an appreciation for certain authors of fiction (Heinlein, Butler, Koontz, Cook, Crichton, Clark, Bradbury, King, et al). I am a self-employed forensicist (I own the company) and have a few other business ventures percolating presently. I am 59 years of age.

My Preferences
I date women - not ages, not colors, not ethnicities, but that certain and ineffable combination of personal and physical characteristics that strike me as appealing at a given time. And for me, the cast is not set, meaning I don't prefer one somatotype or height or weight over another. It all tends to swing on the impact and dynamics attendant to the individual - and the chemistry between the individual and me. There's more to me, of course, but I'll reserve that for the continuing dialogue I hope to enjoy. Oh, and I'm black, American and relatively dark-skinned but handsome is not a call I can make (given that beauty is in the eyes....well, you know what I mean).

I understand and appreciate preferences, however. Your mind's eye knows what it likes and seeks out that thing - sometimes situationally, sometimes impulsively, and sometimes by design. I suppose it can be difficult to wrap one's mindset around a pattern interruption (to borrow a term from heuristic psychology). To some, preferences may seem limiting; to me it's just another function of individuality and free will.

I see people from the inside out. Hue is never a determinant.

I've dated women who only date - or prefer to date - Black men and I didn't find it particularly flattering (unless, of course, they dated me because they knew something of the inner me - and not just the external presentation).

Too often, though, it appeared I was sought after owing to some preconceptions, misconceptions, rumors, curiosity and stereotypes. That's a lot to live up to and it has never been sufficiently important to my ego for me to engage that endeavor. But that's just me; I don't begrudge or judge others for their take on things.

In the planet's social fabric, there's room for both...and more. It keeps it interesting.

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MsBambie's Birthday Bash at Poetry - Boobies and Booties
3:09PM on May 20, 2009

Bambie’s Birthday Bash!


My MsBambie celebrated her 25th birthday on Saturday, April 18, in Las Vegas. Her choice venue in Vegas is Club Poetry, within Caesar’s Palace. It is THE hip-hop location in Nevada.

She brought with her our girlfriends Fierce and SugarTyTee (Ty). I had with me these three thick, bisexual hotties all in one place. It was going to be quite a night.

My daughter, PrettyFineBrown (Pink Shorts to some of you), used her connections to arrange for us to get an intimate VIP booth tucked in the back of the club. We rolled in and it was ON!

We danced in around midnight and the girls took over the floor. They danced with each other and with other women in our area. They moseyed over to the larger dance floor and put it down for the fellas. Guys were drooling so freely that the mop crew was put on stand-by.



MsBambie wore a red clingy top and had some black pants painted onto her lower extremities. She was supported by some killer red heels for which she spent a week shopping.
 
Rude.com’s 2009 Booty Shakin’ Contest winner’s thighs exploded into the club to acclaim, dragging that magnificent 45-inch ass package behind her. MsBambie was a star, a celebrity, Rude royalty.

Our girlfriend, 23 year-old Fierce, wore a black micro-micro-mini dress and went ass-bare (yeah, no panties) providing a special “sump’m- sump’m” for the crowd. Fierce is quite funny when loose and a complete riot with a drink or two in her. We let the drinks flow and she, with encouragement from the galley, went wild.
 
  Our other girlfriend Ty, a 26 year-old, met Fierce for the first time at this event and they took to each other immediately. Ty sat for photos with MsBambie last year and the two foxes kept in touch. Now it was time to party together.

Usually Ty is very reserved. By night’s end (see photos), Ty and Bambie were slurping cake frosting from Fierce’s 34i-cup boobies and, later, Ty and Fierce were making out in the booth.
 


We partied until 4 a.m. and then retired to my daughter’s house to sleep. Sleep did not come quickly. First, Ty, Fierce and Bambie went to bed and played with each other for an hour. Bambie then went into another bedroom to sleep, leaving Ty and Fierce to continue their carnal explorations. Me, I sat in a corner and drank it all with my eyes. Later in the night, they gang banged me, draining my nutt sacs to exhaustion. Lawdy, lawdy, lawdy. I love my life, y’all.


The next morning, we eased out to brunch at the Cracked Egg in North Las Vegas. There, the ladies signed autographs, bantered with the wait staff and shopped. We parted company with me taking Ty back to California and Bambie staying in Vegas to run the streets with Fierce.

Happy Birthday, Baby!

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Thanks, Rude
4:40PM on December 18, 2008

Fierce!
4:48AM on December 10, 2008

FIERCE!
© 2008 Alley Cat Media

We are not looking but we are always on the lookout.

When I first encountered Ms Bambie, I was with two of my several girlfriends. Ms Booty, my 44-yr old swinger partner had been running with me for nearly a year; 19 yr old Dimplez had been with me for about eighteen months. Both ladies were sexy, thick, and bisexual and that fit right into my program. They became lovers, girlfriends to each other and, simultaneously, girlfriends to me. We formed a triad.

After Ms Bambie entered the picture, Ms Booty was the first to fall. We laid Ms Booty off a few days following a small swinger party composed of bi females and their men that I organized in Moreno Valley, Calif. (That story is recounted in my blog, Swingin Done Right, at www.Rude.com/CalifStyle/blog.) Dimplez fell a few months later (see Ms Bambie and Dimplez: Birthday Booty, at www.Rude.com/MsBambie/blog).

Each wanted to be number one. Unfortunately, only the baddest can be number one and the baddest is, without a doubt, Ms Bambie.


Our baby, Fierce: 44FFF-29-46

Since then, we entertained several candidates but interviewed few. Most were flakes, wannabees and pretenders. Many were simply bi-curious, bi-situational, or they had another agenda.

We went back to the future and discussed a triad with one of my recent ex-girlfriends, Rudes SugarTyTee. SugarTyTee is in a pre-med program that consumes all of her time so, though we chat regularly, a more intimate relationship was off the table.

Then, out of the blue, she called.

My girl Fierce was 18 when we met four years ago at a restaurant in Santa Monica, Calif. I remember her as focused, ambitious and entrepreneurial. Fierce was studying make-up and massage therapy, juggling the course requirements with other classes at a local college. She knew what she wanted and where she was headed. I have met no women of her age who had their heads put on as straight; frankly, I have met few women of any age so situated. Fierce impressed me immediately.

Fierce read recently on one of my social networking sites that I was in a relationship; she wanted to know more about it. Fierce checked in on me periodically, hooking up with me from time to time for booty calls as it suited her. The girl is a complete independent.

Fierce, a bi, thick, sexy, freaky swinger, said she could be interested in Ms Bambie based solely on Ms Bambies photograph. Fierce wanted to meet her. YES!

We missed dates on Monday and Tuesday nights owing to Fierces demanding class schedule (shes studying web design and photo editing). 


22 year-old Fierce at a photo shoot in her Hollywood studio

Wednesday night, as Ms Bambie and I lie in bed discussing events of the day, Fierce rang me. She wanted to know if I was in town, at home, awake. Yes to all three. She wanted to come to us; Ms Bambie nodded her assent and it was on.

Fierce didnt mention that she was already en route to us even as she chatted with me on the phone (she had her mind made up, evidently). Thirty minutes later, Fierce was ringing the doorbell.

She was still gorgeous. Fierces smile reached for my mouth and forced a toothy grin from me; she embraced me warmly and kissed me passionately. Fierce pressed her mound into my groin and grinded slowly, deeply, Old School effectively. My stiffness rose to the demand, saying, Lets get the party started.

Fierce followed me up the stairs to the master bedroom and Ms Bambie bounded from our bed to intercept us at the landing. They met, smiled, hugged, and exchanged pleasantries. Fierce undressed quickly and headed for the shower.

The 44-FFFs invaded the shower commandingly, Fierces 46-inch posterior span closing the shower door as she entered. The shower water slid across Fierces skin seductively, bouncing the radiance of her butterscotch flesh tone onto the glass and tile enclosure. Fierces buttocks flexed and dimpled as she crossed the threshold, her musculature straining against her silky, smooth skin.

None of this beauty was lost on Ms Bambie who stole a long, languid peek from around the corner. Ms Bambie achieved an ocular erection and she moistened her nipples with a flick of her tongue.

Fierce emerged from the shower with her golden nephelosphere glowing. Her body was ringed with a moist envelope that made her steamy hot and ultimately delectable to Ms Bambies hungry loins. Ms Bambie pursed her vulva in anticipation.

When I made it into the bedroom, I stepped into the voracious, libidinous longings of Ms Bambie and Fierce. Each had taken one side of the bed leaving a body-sized space between them, presumably for me. I attempted to snuggle in behind Ms Bambie, forcing them to face each other. Fierce demanded that I get between them. Dang. Life is harsh.

With my tactical position compromised, Fierce initiated the assault by latching onto my nipple; she slathered her tongue across my chests expanse, forcing my nipple absolutely perpendicular to my supine form. Blood rushed from my brain south in preparation for extended duty as Fierce reached with her hand to engage my surprised and still-flaccid penis. She stroked firmly yet gently, tickling the penile corona with flat-fingered passes. My mast ballooned into service. Ms Bambies eyes widened and her trademark, 40-teeth smile betrayed her.

Ms Bambie joined the endeavor, licking my spare nipple into surrender. My senses danced a spirited Lindy Hop to Duke Ellingtons The A-Train and I grasped mightily at my resolve. It was a nipple-whipping for which to die just call me Calif-cadaver because Im first in line.

Fierces lips ambled down to my pubis and connected with the first thing swingingwhich happened to be my man-sicle (thanks to Rudes XXL for that moniker). Fierce opened wide and sucked me into her mouth; my manhood found its youth again. She tonsil-tagged my shaft without warning and I skeeted into her stomach. Fierce did not pause, pummeling my missile with her tongue and thrusting my torpedo vigorously into her oral cavity.

Ms Bambie preparing to dine at Fierce's Y

Ms Bambie wrapped her tongue around Fierces lips (the ones on her face, you pervs), kissing her as Fierce planted those special kisses on me (well, on that special part of me, actually). This gave way to them kissing each other intermittently and sharing my man-meat; thrills galore, people. Ms Bambie took her turn at occupying my pipe when Fierce reached up to kiss my mouth. We tongued deeply, wrestling away any residue from her southern exposure. Meanwhile, Ms Bambie pleasured my glans with a loving lip-lashing; again, I skeeted.

I was taking flight when both ladies pulled up and directed me to get behind one of them. It was time clearly for them to attend more to each other. Cool.

Ms Bambie helped me up as I peeled myself from the raging, red sheets and Fierce lied on her back atop them. Ms Bambie wasted no time in prostrating herself into Fierces Y. I knew what time it was (sic): it was pearl polishing time.

Cupping my head on the edge of the custom-made, 32 inner-coiled mattress, I rested on my upper back with my face inserted in Ms Bambies love box. My tongue found its way unerringly into Ms Bambies cum canal, then rowed upstream a tad to a waiting and pleasantly situated clitoris. The clit smiled devilishly at me on my approach. I winked in return. We became great friends in the short term.

The contrast between Ms Bambies rich chocolate and Fierces butterscotch was alluring. The play of hues, one on the other, was at once complim

Introducing: my older son, Peter Mack
10:56PM on December 02, 2008

My son's nom de plume is Peter Mack. He is the author of the sizzling novel, 'A Neighborly Affair'(TRU LIFE PUBLISHING, 2008) and CEO of Peter Mack apparel LLC. He is the visionary behind the bourgeoning HoodSweet (tm) clothing line for the woman who moves with DESIRE, MOTIVATION,& DEDICATION, for PEACE,POWER,& POSITION. Peter Mack just signed a multi-book publishing deal, which includes 'A Neighborly Affair 2' with TRU LIFE PUBLISHING. Peter Mack defied the odds and proved his BOSS status with a vivid novel and a hot clothing line. He is poised to take novels to the next level, offering an interactive experience with the HoodSweet (tm) clothing line, which is inspired by his debut novel. There are more designs and variety on the way but don't sleep on these limited edition, inaugural HoodSweet (tm) shirts which appear in 'A Neighborly Affair.' The Peter Mack apparel line is for the woman who is 'more than a dyme.' TM

Rude.com's MsBambie is the official HoodSweet (tm) spokesmodel and has agreed to appear as the cover model of the next novel in the A Neighborly Affair series, due out early next year. To see one of the Hood Sweet (tm) t-shirt designs, visit www/Rude.com/CalifStyle/blog where MsBambie is modeling the black HoodSweet t-shirt in Las Vegas. Ms Bambie will carry the t-shirts in her Rude store. See her page at www.Rude.com/MsBambie.

Meet Peter Mack at www.Rude.com/PeterMack.

Below: Ms Bambie modeling the HoodSweet t-shirt while partying at Club Poetry in Las Vegas' Caesar's Palace.

Fellatio: A Primer
11:58AM on November 25, 2008


Photo copyright (c) 2008 Alley Cat Media                       Photo by Calif Style

How to Give a Blow Job: Become a Fellatio Expert (just like Ms Bambie)
by Kiley Oram

Giving a great blow job is easy, not to mention sexy and fun for both giver and receiver. Fellatio is a versatile sex act, too. You can do it almost anywhere!

1. Be prepared with some sexy goods. edible gel, lickable oil, vibrator will help tranform you from a novice into an oral sex master.

2. Get comfortable. A blow job is much more fun without a sore neck. Find a position that works best for both of you, depending on where you are (you can't really lounge comfortably in an elevator, you know) and the angle of the cock you're dealing with (work with the natural downward angle of your throat). Kneel before your man with him standing if you're in a confined area, or when you want to strike a pose that is really hot. Other positions: seat your partner and crouch between their legs (slide a pillow under your knees if you're not on a soft surface), or lay down and let your partner thrust into your mouth, (harder to control the depth, but good for you lazy types). If you're in a car, your partner can lay down lengthwise in the back.

3. If you're using a condom, put it on now. Try a flavored condom if you don't like the taste of latex. A sexy way to set the scene is to use your mouth to put the condom on before you get busy.

4. Give us a kiss. If you're dealing with a soft penis, you don't have to wait until it's hard to start the show. Put it in your mouth when it's soft (or semi-hard) to get acquainted. Kiss it. Lick it. You can sweeten things up by applying an edible gel .

5. Mouth off. Slide your lips gently over your teeth for smooth sailing. Most fellatio recipients like lots of spit, but others prefer a drier job, so check in with your partner. Asking quick yes or no questions like "want it dryer?" or "more spit?" can be helpful and hot. Despite your amazing oral sex technique, you aren't a mind-reader, so watch your partner for body language cues.

6. Experiment. You can do more wonderful stuff with your mouth than just suck (and remember--the harder you suck doesn't necessarily mean the better it feels). Mix it up by licking the sensitive underside of the shaft, the nerve-ending- loaded head of the penis, and the testicles. Softly blow on the moistened areas. The combination of sensations will feel incredible.

7. Hands-on. Give your blow job a hand. Grip the cock around the base and slide it up and down, hand-job style, in tandem with your mouth. (Some folks like a tight squeeze, others may not, so check in.) This is great because you can cover a lot of the shaft this way without worrying about taking the whole cock in your mouth. You can concentrate on the super-sensitive head and suck as hard or softly as you'and your partner'like. Use lube for extra slipperiness. A silicone lube like is great for blow jobs: it's concentrated so you only need a tiny bit, it's long-lasting so you won't need to keep stopping to reload, and it doesn't have a distracting taste or smell.

8. Deep throat. Deep-throating the act of taking the entire shaft into your mouth and throat can be cool, but you can give a perfectly stellar blow job without doing so. The key to deep throat is to relax your jaw and throat muscles as much as you can. Otherwise, you trigger the gag reflex.

9. Accessorize. Bring some toys into your routine. Experiment with cock rings, butt plugs, or mini vibrators (like the Finger Fun vibe) for some attention on the testicles and perineum. Hold a Pocket Rocket vibrator against your cheek to add vibrations to your mouth play. Or try sucking on ice or a breath mint to transmit a tingly sensation to your favorite penis. Again, check in with your partner to see how experimental you should be.

10. Get into it. Look at your partner and the ecstacy you have caused! Make eye contact. Show your partner how much you love being down there. Moan, make appreciative noises (a well-placed MMMM! can make for some nice vibration, too), let your partner know how turned on you are. Don't neglect the rest of the body, either stroke, tickle, scratch the thighs, stomach, butt, and everywhere else you can reach.

11. Finish the Job. It is ultimately your choice whether or not to swallow. Your partner's diet, health, habits and frequency of ejaculation will determine the quantity and taste of the ejaculate. The ejaculate of someone who ingests lots of red meat, caffeine, alcohol or cigarettes, may taste more intense than that of a non-smoking vegetarian. The most ejaculate you might encounter is a teaspoonful or so. You have several choices if you aren't crazy about ejaculate, but don't want to hurt anyone's feelings:
• you can take it in your mouth and discreetly deposit into a nearby towel
• as your partner approaches climax, withdraw and finish with your hand.
• you can let your partner come on your body and admire the copious amounts of ejaculate
• you can use a condom

When you're totally focused on giving head, it can be a lot of fun whether it's for power play (your partner's most precious asset is at your mercy), intimacy, or the pure fun of getting someone off. Remember, you should only be performing fellatio on somebody if you're really into it and are able to focus all of your energy on what you're doing. If you're staring at the clock, waiting for it to end, or worrying about the laundry in the dryer, you won't have a good time and your partner will be able to tell you're not into it, which can be distracting, too!

Note: Cum see the best blowjobs on Rude at www.Rude.com/MsBambie - because you'll LOVE what you see!

Female ejaculation (squirting)
1:52AM on November 24, 2008

I don't have the source of this article at hand presently but I will add the attribution to this blog in short order. I did not write the article that follows:

Currently, the nature of female ejaculation is rather unclear. There are only a few articles published dealing with this topic and most have no serious data about the origin or composition of the fluid expelled. To complicate matters further, the little data available is inconsistent.

In 2002, Emmanuele Jannini of L'Aquila University in Italy offered one explanation for this phenomenon, as well as for the frequent denials of its existence. Skene's gland openings are usually the size of pinholes, and vary in size from one woman to another, to the point where they appear to be missing entirely in some women. If Skene's glands are the cause of female ejaculation, this may explain the observed absence of this phenomenon in many women. Retrograde ejaculation, where the fluid travels up the urethra towards the bladder (observed in 75% of test subjects) could also account for the observed absence.

Ejaculation in women seems to be aided or caused by stimulation of the area of the vagina known as the Gräfenberg spot (often simply known as the G-spot). The content of the ejaculated fluid is either all urine, all glandular secretion, or a combination of both.

Studies of the fluid ejaculated through the urethra have shown a different chemical composition than urine, although urine may also be present. Glucose, prostatic acid phosphatase, and prostate specific antigen appear in female ejaculate along with lower levels of urea and creatine than found in urine. In some cases, ejaculate was differentiated from urine by the absence of an asparagus smell (after eating asparagus) or a dye.

In some pornographic movies, women are shown ejaculating a clear or milky fluid. The validity of pornography as a source of evidence is, however, suspect, as there is a strong incentive to generate dramatic visual effects, with no implication or assurance of accurate recording of real events. Allegedly, some of this is done through trick editing or by filling the vagina with fluids from external sources; with the camera on, the woman can then expel the fluid. In other cases, the fluid is clearly seen as coming from her urethra, at high velocity. It is likely that urination is sometimes used in this context to provide the illusion of a female ejaculation.

Studies by Gwendolyn Kelly Boyer indicate that the white fluid may be semen from former sexual encounters that has not exited the vagina. According to her theory, the male who has sex with the female before she has a chance to dispel the semen from previous encounters, may cause strong enough contractions during orgasm to force the fluid through the vaginal opening. This does not occur in many women because some women are unable to achieve orgasm during regular intercourse.

Famous female ejaculators in pornographic film
In the pornographic film industry, an actress who goes by the name "Cytherea" is generally acknowledged to be the "squirt queen," due to her particularly intense and voluminous ejaculations. Other famed ejaculators include Aria, Angela Stone, Flower Tucci, Nikki Hunter, Tianna Lynn, Dasha, Fallon, Alisha Klass, Annie Body, Missy Monroe, Lily Thai, Annie Cruz, Nici Sterling, Niki Daniels, Sarah Jane Hamilton, Cumisha Amado, Melissa Monet, Kerri Downs, Kelli Giraffe, Bunny Bleu and Ariana Jollee.

Booty Bar None
1:10AM on November 22, 2008

Booty Bar None
© 2008 Alley Cat Media

The weekend whizzed by us, Ms Bambie and me. My hazy recollection is of a Temecula, Calif. swinger party in the form of a bar take-over on Saturday night, a grueling workout in our home-gym with our personal trainer Spank on Sunday, and back to the grind on Monday.

The first few days of the week found Ms Bambie absorbed in working her various web venues as I enjoyed interacting with Rude’s reigning and regal sensualist, TaQuilla, on other matters. Several days of interfacing with these two poles of searing sexuality and sophisticated sensuality drained me viscerally and in all of the best ways. Both my scrotum and my cerebrum nutted to exhaustion by Wednesday. That’s when it happened.

Ms Bambie sprung it on me Wednesday night after watching “Cindy.” Cindy is a retelling of Cinderella starring Scoey Mitchell and Charlaine Woodard with Nell Ruth Carter and the music of Fats Waller (Yo’ Feets Too Big, The Joint Is Jumpin’). Ms Bambie climbed atop my trunk as I rested supine; she dragged my torpedo from its launch bay and downed it like a cough drop. My meaty muscle flexed upright and strained for a breath to no avail. Ms Bambie owned my sausage pole by then and it was her party. Yippy!

But that wasn’t the surprise. Ms Bambie “Pearl Harbors” my penile appendage often – and with startling regularity. No, the surprise was, well, surprising.

Ms Bambie mopped her tongue up the length of my manhood, stopping at the glans to wrap her tongue’s tip around the corona. She then thrust her throat around my girth without gagging and deep-throated repeatedly. The roof of her mouth massaged my missile gently while robustly she vacuumed cum from deep within my urethra. I swear I could feel her tongue inside my prostate.

She withdrew to my dick’s head and treated it to broad strokes from her tongue. That’s when she told me: “I took out my tongue ring.” Huh? The tongue stud wasn’t there? No wonder the bj felt so differently wonderful. Ms Bambie then cupped my glans with her bottom lip (that famous bottom lip), titillating my dick to numbingly good effect. This went on for nearly a minute while I gripped her and the always-red sheets in an effort at holding onto my ejaculate.

For the first time, I actually tried to feel the tongue stud – or its absence. I believe her tongue was liberated with the stud’s removal. It gyrated while encircling my mast, pulsing and pulling simultaneously. She sucked harder and more aggressively, attempting to force a nutt or three out of me against my will. Yeah, I was feeling it; use me, baby. Use me up. (Credit to Bill Withers.)

Ms Bambie enticed and tempted my gonads for twenty-five minutes with her superior oral skills. I held on, trying to keep up and hold my load at the same time. Pre-cum flooded down the sides of my stalk, my dick’s head delirious with sensations at once perfect and primal.

My nipples saluted the effort at play in my southernmost region. Ms Bambie noticed and clambered up my torso, fastening herself to my nipples. Her tongue did a samba across my pectorals, slap-shooting against the nipples in passing. My senses fired incessantly. Just when my nipples surrendered to exhaustion, Ms Bambie retreated to the pipe below and continued her mastery. I moaned without pause, clawing at the mattress and digging my manicured nails into the crimson-hued linen.

I looked beyond the crown of Ms Bambie’s head and saw the majestic peaks of the ass-almighty (thank you to Rude.com’s Bestchoc for that exceedingly accurate descriptor). The massive muscles of her derriere flexed involuntarily as she kneaded my dick’s length with her oral facilities. The monstrous ass package rippled its authority as Ms Bambie attended to her carnal tasks.

Ms Bambie looked up at me calmly and then took my lips into hers, kissing me with a damp fire that left the two or three hairs on my scalp smoldering. We kissed again, lost in each other, in that moment, at that moment. Again, I attempted to “feel” the stud or its absence to no avail. But the kiss was somehow tastier, sweeter, and more succulent. Was I imagining it?

I pressed Ms Bambie’s body into mine, fixing her 36Ds to my chest and clasping her 45-inch ass-span with my not-quite-large-enough hands. Perfecto. We grinded across our collective pubis gently; call us coffee because we grind so fine. (Sorry. OG talk.)

Rolling away from me, Ms Bambie silently invited me to her favorite position - missionary. I complied. My stealth salami found its way into her and berthed. I planned to be inside for a bit so I made a lunch, dinner and light snacks.

We began our mattress mambo immediately, kissing as we drilled away. Ms Bambie’s pussy was wildly wet, dripping with her juices and warm to the touch. She was SO ready. I placed my hands below her hips and tilted her into an optimal angle. Flattening her pelvis, I plunged deeply within the cavern. Ms Bambie tightened her grip around my dick and locked me into place. Uh oh. I was committed now.

Ms Bambie’s gyrations excited my toenails; my feet curled into a C shape and I raised my penis to the mouth of Ms Bambie’s pussy. I dive-bombed repeatedly as she winced. After a few of these, I settled in for some Old School lovin’. Our bodies undulated in sync as we rode to a shared orgasm. Ms Bambie chimed, “I’m cummin’, I’m cummin’. There it is; right there.” I didn’t look to see if “it” was there; I assumed it must be because I was feeling it, too.

We ejaculated together as I came in a long, steady stream. She gripped me with her pussy’s walls, coaxing additional nutt butter from my testicles. I emptied into her from my gizzards as she continued to vacuum my nutt sac. I could barely walk after that. But I could eat.

Dropping to Ms Bambie’s knees, I licked and mouth-massaged my way up to her kat. Its lips were fully engaged so I licked then kissed them before commencing my assault, er, seduction of Ms Bambie’s clit. I pursed my lips around the hood, soliciting cooperation from the pearl beneath. Her clit peeked through the narrow opening, sizing up my potential. It must have recognized me from last time because it threw the doors open once I spoke my name. It was on.

I remembered a promise made to Rude.com’s Creamy Kupcake. I was to write her name on the inside wall of Ms Bambie’s pussy so others entering would read, “Property of Creamy Kupcake. Take a number, y’all.” I am good for my word. By the time Ms Bambie passed out from her third cunnilingual orgasm, the two promised sentences were posted in Courier, 12 point font, periwinkle (so as not to clash with the light-red tint adorning the honey pot).

Shhhhhh. It’s our secret.

Visit my lover at www.Rude.com/MsBambie - because you’ll LOVE what you see! And visit Ms Bambie’s fantasy at www.Rude.com/Creamy_Kupcake. And, of course, www.Rude.com/TaQuilla (my favorite sensualist and Queen of Rude.com).

Tell ‘em that Calif Style sent ya’.

Calif Style

Developing the Kung fu grip
3:04AM on November 15, 2008


Kegel exercises
Benefits of Kegel exercises
by Amy Scholten, MPH

Kegel exercises are exercises that strengthen the pelvic floor muscles (the muscles that support the urethra, bladder, uterus, and rectum). They are also called pelvic floor muscle exercises.

Kegel exercises are usually recommended for women with urinary or “stress” incontinence. Urinary incontinence often follows childbirth or menopause.

You may experience the following benefits if you do Kegel exercises on a regular basis:

Three Lessons Learned
1:03PM on November 06, 2008

Dateline: Tuesday, July 29, 2008


Three Things
Current mood: awake
Category: Romance and Relationships

I learned three important things on yesterday. I learned that you should not trust a person who does not trust him/herself.

I learned that it is when we have the least amount of time to do things that we determine all the things we want - and wanted - to do.

I learned that love is not enough.

I may expand on these later - if I have more time.

CalifStyle

Interpersonal relationships on Rude
7:52PM on October 26, 2008

Nyomi Banxxx and her Birthday Bash
3:46PM on October 19, 2008

Ms Bambie and I were invited VIP guests at the birthday bash for the gorgeous Nyomi Banxxx this past weekend. Nyomi was one of the Ebony Queens of Porn in my Naughty Gurlz booth at Erotica L.A. 2007 (the other Ebony Queens of Porn were Kaylani Cream, Busty Ms. Panther, and Miss Simone; the concept was the brainchild of the sexy, creative Kaylani Cream: see photos from that event in my Pix section at www.Rude.com/CalifStyle).

We arrived early (11-ish) with Ms Bambie's Pussy Posse and they kicked the party off by dancing in our booth, the neighboring booth, and all over the dance area. They danced alone, with each other, and with anyone who dared to come to the dance floor. Servers from other areas approached me on three or four occasions asking if I could send my girls to their area to liven things up. As usual, Ms Bambie was in the thick of it, the center of it, and all around the creamy filling of it.

Nyomi walked up, scanned our booth (we were invited from our VIP section to hers) and screamed my name. She strolled over to me and hugged the breath out of my chest, planting a tongue-reinforced kiss on my neck as she oohed me, rubbing her palm over my polished scalp. We posed for a few photos and then she saw Ms Bambie's luminous smile followed by the famous Bambie boobage and massive ass. "Hi, Ms Bambie," Nyomi sighed as she and Ms Bambie embraced. Nyomi reached around and squeezed Ms Bambie's ass cheeks and said, "Oooohh, it's so soft," smiling luxuriantly.

Nyomi is as sophisticated as she is sexy, as classy as she is seductive, and as gracious as she is gorgeous. I maintain that she is the most beautiful woman in porn and one of a rare few in that industry to cross over successfully. She works in the mainstream media as an all-purpose, sought-after model while holding court on the box covers of some of the hottest porn videos on the planet. Nyomi is effective in both glamour and ghetto porn, with her exceptional beauty and regal bearing reigning in a field fraught with one-minute wonders.

Nyomi then saw Pink Shorts (wearing a black body-dress tonight), with whom she had not hung out since Erotica L.A. last year, and they hugged and mugged for the camera. Other members of Ms Bambie's Pussy Posse - Michelle (in the purple dress), Denise (in the white top and blue jeans), and Pink Shirt (in the brown and white dress) - raced to get in on the photo opportunity with the stunning Nyomi Banxxx (see the photo gallery at www.Rude.com/MsBambie). Pink Shorts commented that Nyomi is her favorite among the porn universe because she is so real, approachable and down to earth. Nyomi is all that and more - and, of course, Nyomi is a wet dream's dream.  

Later, we shared birthday cake with Nyomi and continued dancing into the night. Ms Bambie, Denise and I left at 4 a.m.; Pink Shorts and the others in Ms Bambie's Pussy Posse stayed until 7 a.m., leaving only to get breakfast. A few of Ms Bambie's fans came through to take photos with her. We'll post, later in the week, those and other photos from Nyomi's birthday bash (it's been a long weekend).

(c) 2008 Alley Cat Media

Ms Bambie swings at Maria's Ndeavours
6:32AM on October 14, 2008


Ms Bambie swingin’ through the weekend at Maria’s Ndeavours
© 2008 Alley Cat Media

Dateline: September 27, 2008

Rude.com’s YELLADICKGIVER wrote to Ms Bambie, “How's your weekend?” Since he asked, and everyone wants to know, here is the climax of Ms Bambie’s weekend:

Ms Bambie and I attended a swinger party in Los Angeles, near LAX, on Saturday night. Two members of our Naughty Gurlz Parties swinger group met us there for a SwingatMariasNdeavours inter-ethnic party. My friend, Maria the Hawaiian Heat, hosts these parties monthly in Los Angeles and every other week in San Diego. Maria has one of the largest interracial, internet-based swinger groups around with over 50,000 members worldwide.

Ms Bambie rummaged through her walk-in closet and emerged wearing black, skin-tight pants painted onto her curvaceous lower trunk and her sculpted legs. One could get dizzy following the contours of her southern extremities, seasick even, just by letting the mind’s eye roll along her anatomical hills and valleys.

Begin with the gluteal enormousness once called gluteus maximus but, thanks to Rude.com’s Bestchoc, is now known as Ass Almighty. Cartographers know it as Great Mountain of the Massive Ass, a dense, expansive and fortified structure higher than Mount Whitney. The rare air atop that monster of muscularity makes the descent to the femoral biceps (back of her thighs) a thrill ride the rival of anything that Six Flags Over Texas might offer.

Your eyes ski down the chocolate slopes into the small of her knee and then slingshot across her gastrocnemius muscles. Centripetal forces hold you into the descent leading to the Achilles tendon and ‘round the heel. You envision the Hershey’s syrup sweating down her inner thighs and your mouth moistens.

We strut into Maria’s party early, as is my custom, bringing with us Tim and Laria from our swinger group (“Tim” and “Laria” are pseudonyms). Tim is 40-ish, slender, tall and easy going with brown hair and eyes. An ex-Marine (if there is such a thing as an ex-Marine), he carries himself quietly forceful. Ms Bambie, who is turned on by blond hair/blue eyed white guys is taken by Tim’s strong good looks, considers his presentation and speculates as to his “package.” She expects that he is not packin’ much.

Laria is a stout, shapely lady, Asian ethnically, with intelligence written all over her countenance. She is seductive without effort and thick in all of the best, sexiest ways. Laria wears a kimono-influenced dressing gown that hugs her form to wondrous and flattering effect. She is bejeweled in stunning gold chains and rings. Hungry eyes follow her as she crosses the room.

Ms Bambie, after chatting in the sitting room for an hour, retires to one of the bedrooms in the suite to get the party started – with me. As we begin our passionate mattress dance, Tim and Laria begin theirs in the bed next to ours. We like nothing better than serious swingers who come to play, not parry.

Ms Bambie and I are not the focus of this story so I’ll spare you the details. It is Tim and Ms Bambie about whom I want to report.

After dispatching me with her usual efficiency, Ms Bambie showers and looks for Tim. He has deposited himself in the sitting room while Laria and I engage one another in a sizzling liaison that began with succulent fellatio, tenderly rendered. As Laria licks cream remnants from my spigot, Ms Bambie enters the room with Tim in tow. His dick is already battling its girding as his eyes lust after Ms Bambie’s demolition derriere.

Tim falls to the bed, undressing as he alights. Ms Bambie, already naked with bulging, buffed vulva follows Tim, landing across his trunk. Tim’s pole stiffens to full mast and Ms Bambie swallows it in one gulp. Tim gasps as his legs lock. They are off to the races.

Ms Bambie towels Tim’s dick with her tongue, gums and lips expertly, his dick pulsing repeatedly under the assault. His penile veins bulge as Tim’s dick battles for parity in what is Ms Bambie’s turf clearly. Laria and I, in the adjacent bed, are so busy attending to each other that we have to steal glances at Ms Bambie and Tim performing their own mattress mambo next to us.

Ms Bambie moans and sighs as she entertains her salivary glands with Tim’s pre-cum delights; Tim simply moans. Rallying a few minutes into it, Tim wraps his lips around Ms Bambie’s vulva majora. Tim tickles the pussy’s lips with his tongue while working his way to Ms Bambie’s honey hole (not to be mistaken for the Hershey tunnel). Ms Bambie accommodates Tim by straddling his face in the classic 69 position done right. Her pussy is dripping dew and Tim slurps while swallowing; he doesn’t miss a drop. Ms Bambie is impressed.

Twenty minutes into the 69, Tim pulls Ms Bambie from his stalk and flattens her into the missionary position. Ms Bambie flexes her thighs and ratchets her knees up to her ears – “Cum to me, sweetie. Put it right here,” says she. Tim inserts himself and throttles into gear. Tim’s dick swells with excitement and Ms Bambie’s eyes widen – WTF? From where did he get all THAT dick? “It wasn’t there a minute ago,” she seems to say. Tim unfurled his stealth missile to Ms Bambie’s amazement – and appreciation.

He whispers to her, “I don’t cum so I don’t want you to think it’s you. I never cum.” Of course, Ms Bambie takes that as a challenge. Tim begins the piston thrusts and Ms Bambie holds on as his massive meat monster catches her by surprise completely as it continues to engorge. She says to herself again, WTF? Tim is masterful and loving…yeah, loving. He says to her how beautiful she is, repeatedly, and his eyes drip with longing. Ms Bambie smiles at the adoration but focuses on the task at hand. Less talk, more action.

With Ms Bambie’s legs now outstretched and toes pointing skyward, Tim tilts forward onto his toes and bangs away. Ms Bambie bends into a pretzel in response to Tim’s charge, her body forming a letter V. Onlookers roll in and out of the room awaiting their turn with the sexy Ms Bambie but Tim ain’t nearly done. It’s passed the hour mark and he’s going strong.

Slowing to a walk, Tim removes himself from Ms Bambie and drags her ass wagon to the edge of the bed. Once situated, he licks her clit vigorously, dragging his tongue gingerly across the length of her pussy. Tim inserts his tongue deeply into Ms Bambie’s joy tunnel as if searching for a lost watch, jewelry or rare coins. He plunges his tongue so deeply that the back of his throat echoes the sounds of Tim sipping Ms Bambie’s sensuous Moët.

Tim’s wood returns so he remounts Ms Bambie as they round the 90-minute mark. He’s stroking with authority and Ms Bambie, obviously still in awe, holds on and keeps up. Tim layers Ms Bambie’s neck and face with wet kisses, searching eagerly for her mouth. Alas, Ms Bambie kisses only me so Tim’s efforts are deflected. Unfazed, Tim continues the endearments as he tenderizes Ms Bambie’s passion fruit further.

Switch reels. They change positions again and Ms Bambie is back into fellatio, deep-throating Tim’s sausage without gagging. Tim requites Ms Bambie by burying his head in her cum canal. Their bodies link together as they rock the bed and roll the room. They match stroke for stroke, lick for lick, slurp for slurp, and then Tim grabs Ms Bambie’s waist, twisting her into the ass-backward position known as Doggy Style.

Tim grips her hips firmly and plugs Ms Bambie’s juice pot with his pole. He rams her from the rear with a steady, long-pull motion that drags his dick out to its head before plunging into Ms Bambie’s happy harbor, cozying up to his pubis. Ms Bambie buries her head in the sheets as Tim has his way with that pussy. Tim has found the golden ring and ain’t lettin’ go.

Tim pounds away for what seems an eternity before shifting positions again, this time to the cowgirl. Ms Bambie mounts her steed and heads for them thar hills. Riding rambunctiously, Ms Bambie bounds valiantly with her arms held akimbo, later raising them to her head with her elbows cupping her ears. Her spine undulates as an erotic snake in the midst of a seizure, rocking Tim’s resolve.

Over her shoulder, Ms Bambie vets my technique with Laria. We’re embraced in a 77 (spoon) position nearing the end of our event. I am scant minutes away from my own terminal action, pushing my rod as deeply into Laria from the rear as her internal architecture will allow. We are one unit making something as unlikely as love at a swinger party; the heat sizzles from our bed and our own passion immolates us. Unfortunately, this isn’t our anecdote. Pity. It would be a hot one.

Tim flips Ms Bambie back into missionary. Ms Bambie then locks her thighs, trapping Tim’s dick in her juicy pussy’s cavern and rapidly pounds up into him. Yeah, Ms Bambie is now fucking HIM. Just when you thought you’d seen it all. Tim contorts his face in a pleasant way and drives for the advantage. Ms Bambie is in charge now, though. Tim stiffens suddenly in the peculiar rigor mortis of ejaculation. His nutts drain into his condom as he embraces Ms Bambie’s ass and waist with whole arms, exhaling loudly. Tim paints Ms Bambie’s neck with his kisses, massaging her collar with his lips as he savors the orgasm.

Tim apologizes for cumming. Ms Bambie smiles knowingly. They are one for one; this is his first time cumming at a party. This is her first time falling to a stereotype; never again for her. She is now impressed dutifully.

Ms Bambie rises, thanks Tim, then sets off to shower and seek out her next victim. Ms Bambie strides through the sitting room and throws the entire assemblage off-balance. The perfect form of her thighs and ass package drops jaws along her route and fixes many a gaze in her direction. The girl sizzles even as she struts.

Next?


It’s hotter at www.Rude.com/MsBambie - because you’ll LOVE what you see!

Read more of my erotic blogs at www.Rude.com/CalifStyle/blog - each story is true (admitting to just a hint of artistic license).

Five Points - author unknown
3:35AM on September 27, 2008

#1. When people admonish you to "be more original," what they really mean is "be more like me." When people admonish you to "be a free thinker," they really mean "try to think more like me."

#2. Everyone knows you can't turn a ho into a housewife…but turning a housewife into a ho ain't no picnic either.

#3a. Always keep this in mind when trying to win someone's love or respect: people care more about how you treat yourself than how you treat them. If you treat someone better than you treat yourself, especially if you help them at great expense to yourself emotionally, financially or psychologically, they will actually end up loving and respecting you less.

#3b. If you treat someone better than they think they deserve to be treated, they will punish you for it. You may think treating someone better than they think they deserve to be treated will raise their self-esteem and make them see themselves in the same great way you see them. This is not the case. Most of the time, they end up losing respect for you for seeing such great things in them that they are unable to see in themselves, and they label you as weak, foolish, naive or in possession of poor judgment and will try to punish you for it. Oftentimes they are so sure they'll disappoint you eventually and prove unworthy of the faith you placed in them that they self-sabotage things (consciously or unconsciously) sooner rather than later just to get the "inevitable" disappointment over with. That is why so many relationships where a girl tries to redeem a hopeless bad boy with her love or a guy tries to play Captain Save-a-Ho with some hard luck case girl usually ends up with the charity case dragging down the rescuer rather than the rescuer redeeming the charity case. This human nature tendency is perfectly illustrated in the famous Groucho Marx quote "Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member."

#4. People see weakness in a woman and their natural instinct is to protect from harm and nurture it until it's strong. People see weakness in a man and feel revolting disgust and their natural instinct is to crush it out of existence and get it out of their sight as soon as possible. (This is a paraphrase of a quote by Norah Vincent, author of Self-Made Man: One Woman's Year Disguised as a Man). Feminism has been teaching women for decades that it is acceptable for them to express themselves emotionally and sexually in the same ways men traditionally have. This has lead men to gradually accept that the reverse is also true for them, that it's now acceptable for them to express themselves emotionally and sexually in the same ways women have. And when they do it the results are disastrous. They bare their souls to their girlfriends and wives and cry regularly in front of them, thinking they're bonding. They talk about their feelings nonstop. They think of any attempt at being macho as an outdated and unenlightened throwback concept and get totally comfortable with showing weakness, emotional wishy-washiness and sensitivity publicly. And instead of being rewarded as enlightened and progressive by the new age modern women they love and the peers they want to impress, it blows up in their face. Despite how our culture changes and celebrates gender equality, our biology hard-wires us to expect strength and leadership from men yet excuses the lack of these traits in women. Maybe it's an unfair double standard, maybe it's not, but it's not going anywhere anytime soon, so you better accept it and adapt. People, and especially women, are ruthless about their disgust at weakness and lack of leadership in men.

#5. Brutal self-awareness can go a long way toward overcoming a surprising amount of personal shortcomings. Consider the following generic statement: He is [x], but he knows that he is [x], and that almost makes him [not-x]. Let's see some specific illustrations. John is stupid, but John knows that he is stupid, and that almost makes him smart. Jill is a cliche, but Jill knows she is a cliche' and that almost makes her unique. The substitution works with an astounding array of shortcomings.

Brutal self-awareness on its own is not enough to fix a shortcoming; decisive and directed action must be taken, but it goes a long way to fixing it and is a major first step most of us never achieve.

Do you agree?

CalifStyle (note: I did not author the essay above but found it intriguing so I share it with you.)

Lost...and don't wanna be found
4:49AM on September 21, 2008

Lost…

© 2008 Alley Cat Media



We invited Ms Bambie’s fans into our bed again last night. After some amiable conversation, we entertained them with a short presentation of sexual congress. Then we slept.


The next night, Ms Bambie had a taste for Mexican food so we made our way to a favored spot down the road. The drive was uneventful. We entered the restaurant to the applause of all eyes she encountered. The hostess flirted with Ms Bambie lightly as she seated us. Everyone wants some Ms Bambie, it seems.


Her eyes scan the menu in search of that one offering sure to sate her appetite. Liquid eyes in which one swims - Ms Bambie's ocular globes emit an innocent luminescence as they stare into the soul of the computer's monitor and, by extension, into the lust cavities of her legions. Eyes big, bright and endearing reach out from Ms Bambie's countenance to ensnare her fans, friends and enemies. We're all caught in her gaze. Some cozy up to her; others balk but few run. Most lay back quietly attending to their requirements manually and sparing their keyboards. No ratings, favorites or buddy lists for them, just the service rendered, the release and then on to their quotidian tasks. I adore being the one she chooses to freeze in her sights.


The tortilla chips are cold and hard but saved - just - by a zesty salsa. Ms Bambie lets me have the first few, I guess using me as a test dummy. Seeing that I survived the cardboard chips, Ms Bambie wades in chomping, chewing and chasing the chips with salsa. The girl must have 48 teeth rather than the conventional 32 because it's not physically possible to have a smile that bright with any fewer of the pearly whites. Ms Bambie must have cornered the market on Pearl Drops back in the days before bleaching, dental implants, veneers and Zoom. Ms Bambie is quick to smile and enjoys beaming that smile to all onlookers. Her famous grill is what welcomes folks into Ms Bambie's room. And the genuine warmth of that smile keeps us cummin'.


Ms Bambie is decked out in a smart pair of grey, pin striped gaucho trousers. Her ass is arc-welded to the trousers so tightly that one imagines the distress of a completely distended balloon hugging the air around which it is stretched. As we entered the restaurant, eyes followed the movement of that famous ass-span all the way to our booth. The hips rolled generously down the aisles, gripping the seat in its muscled crack as she landed the massive ass mass as might one land a jumbo jet pumped up on steroids. Planted in place, Ms Bambie's booty spreads across the seat's cushion and imposes on my space. I don't complain. Super booty is a good thing - especially when attached to Ms Bambie.


She tops the pants with a tasteful grey blouse that clings to her form from the waist to the boobs and then relaxes its hold. The boobs are magnets for the attention of the guy in the booth across the way. He attempts boldly to eat them with his eyes without alerting his date; he fails. His date abuses him with her attitude. Ms Bambie's breasts escape the clutch of the blouse effectively. All eyes are on them...uh, her. We all hope she drips food, anything, onto those gorgeous bubbles so we can take turns lapping it off. After all, we are gentlemen...and gentle ladies.

But the lips...aw, those lips. I am lost in Ms Bambie's lips. They envelop my tongue and massage my penis. The bottom lip is particularly noteworthy. It is long enough for her to lick her knees without bending; I've seen her wrap that lip around basketballs and toss them full court. Ms Bambie lowers the lips onto her plate and vacuums away the victuals. The lips together purse to lavish the sweetest kisses. Better than sex are those kisses. .

I am lost in Ms Bambie's lips. And I don't want to be found.

See what I'm talkin' about at www.Rude.com/MsBambie - because you'll LOVE what you see!

CalifStyle